


Dark Half

by xcrstfallenstrx



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-28
Updated: 2012-04-28
Packaged: 2018-04-12 14:04:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4482035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xcrstfallenstrx/pseuds/xcrstfallenstrx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d spent nearly his entire life devoted to his education as a shinobi, and over half his life as a shinobi.  A tool… nothing more than a piece on a chess board, to be moved at another’s whim.  But there was one thing, one thing he’d been longer then he’d been a shinobi… a man.  A part of himself that he kept separate, hidden away behind his uniform.  What’s a ninja to do when, for once, the scars belong to the man within, and not the warrior of the leaf?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dark Half

**Author's Note:**

> This story is TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY NON-CON, and obviously a bit OOC
> 
> Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Naruto. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
> 
> Warning: This story is NC-17 because it contains foul language, explicit sex, character death, and generalized adult themes. This story will also contain YAOI, as in maleXmale sex…
> 
> PLEASE BE WARNED… THIS IS A DARK FIC…

# Dark Half

_Rain again… typical_ , he thought as he adjusted his hitae-ate.  There was something about rain that ate at him.  He never could put his finger on the reason why.  He couldn’t attach rain to any particular negative memory, yet it always disturbed him.  “What a wonderful way to start the day,” he mumbled to himself, as he made his way out of the cave he’d slept in, and his sandals sank into mucky soil, mud squishing between his toes.  _Better get moving_ , he thought, even though he was seriously debating hiding out until the rain passed.  That, however, wasn’t a feasible option, so he gathered some chakra in his now slick feet, gave a small push with his heels, and was on his way, moving through the canopy swiftly. 

As he moved along, his right foot skidded along the bark, tweaking his right ankle slightly, and he grimaced.  Thankfully, he wasn’t a sloppy genin, or he would have surely found himself face down in the dirt.  If he had to be honest with himself, he’d probably been traveling a bit too fast, for the current weather conditions.  With a sigh he leaned against the tree trunk, and channeled some chakra through his fingers, and into his ankle.  It wasn’t broken, but he’d known that, it wasn’t even sprained.  _Good news_ , he thought as he pulled himself into a crouch.  He had somewhere to be, and couldn’t afford to slacken his pace too much, but a little slower was do-able.

A few hours later, he stopped to take a short break.  As he finished his light snack, he heard a slight ruffle of leaves to his six.  Moving swiftly, he packed his belongings, then slipped into the shadows, sealed his chakra away, and slowed his heart rate and breathing almost to nonexistence.  Whoever was approaching, they were moving fast, and their chakra was far above average.  But that wasn’t the bad news.  His pursuer had wanted him to know he was being followed, and that could only mean one of two things.  His hunter was very confident, and underestimated him greatly, or he already knew he could smash his prey into mush.  With the day he was already having, despite the early hour, he’d guess it was the latter.

He caught a glimpse of white fabric, but tried to shake it off.  _No way…  It can’t be_ , he told himself, _there’s just no way_.  Although, he had wondered on more then one occasion when the time would finally come.  He’d been gone a long time, and he’d been unsure how long he’d be able to evade all their advances before the real chase began.  He didn’t miss the flicker of fabric to his eight, and noticed a small, but very distinct and very conspicuous, patch of orange mixed in with the white. 

Konoha flame orange, to be precise, and he couldn’t help the smirk that crossed his lips.  Had he actually been such a nuisance, that he warranted a personal attack from the Hokage?  Of course, he’d returned all the others, foolish enough to try and take him down, back to Konoha permanently injured beyond repair, in other words, missing limbs, so that was most likely a yes.

He noticed another flicker of white cloth, and when it disappeared, he frowned.  Not only did he not have time for this, but he was no match for the Hokage, despite his own rank as S-Class, although, he hadn’t been labeled S-Class until his deflection from Konoha.  Apparently, he was a more dangerous adversary when he was tied to no one, and was uncaring of the world and its affairs, and simply wanted to be left alone, then when he was a loyal shinobi, and took on missions on a regular basis, in which failure wasn’t an option.

He had to think fast.  He had an opponent he couldn’t see, who had both strength and speed on his side, chakra levels that were nearly unrivaled, and could outclass him in taijutsu almost without lifting a finger.  He was proud of his abilities, and the idea that he was so glaringly outmatched, ignited a small fuse, and made him do something drastic.  He did, after all, have a pair of brass balls that no shinobi could match.

He leapt from his roost, and directly into the center of the clearing, to the left of where he once sat, landing like a ghost.  It was still raining, yet his feet never made a splash as they planted themselves to the ground, in the middle of the puddle that surrounded them.  Some might think him a fool, to put himself directly in the line of fire, so to speak, without any cover, but direct was the way to go.  _No more cat and mouse..._   The leaf had been following him for over a year, and he found their efforts to be exhausting, at the very least.

He stood like that, feet almost shoulder width apart, kunai raised, arms crossed in a universal defensive stance. He was tense and ready for an attack, but it never came, even though he was positive he was being watched.  _Maybe I was wrong.  What if it’s not him_ , he thought.  _Maybe it’s a friend_ , he wondered briefly, then almost laughed out loud.  _A missing-nin doesn’t have any friends._   Giving up on any kind of advance, he turned to leave.  In that moment, he knew it was time, even though he’d never heard a sound.

He turned around and took in, what in his opinion, was the most interesting variation of Hokage’s robes he’d ever seen.  His feet were wrapped in the customary sandals, but that’s where tradition ended.  Instead of hakama, he wore jounin style pants that were red orange, with slips of black laced through the fabric.  His undershirt was black, the over material, a matching red orange to his pants.  His shoulders bore a shorter, albeit properly colored, and therefore, bordering on traditional, white cloak.

His eyes roamed higher, and he found a tan slender neck, supple lips, turned up in a scowl, whiskered cheeks, and cerulean eyes with a tinge of red.  _Some things never change_ , he thought, turning his eyes to ice.  “And to what do I owe this copious honor?” he called sarcastically.

“You know damn well what I’m doing here!” Naruto growled.  “You’ve killed five of your fellow shinobi.  Your allies,” he spit out through gritted teeth.  “All of them my personal guards, and friends.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at his words.  “Allies?  Have you forgotten something?” he asked.  When Naruto’s eyes reflected confusion, he continued, “They were trying to kill me.  Kill or be killed, Naruto.  You know that better then anyone.”

“That’s no reason for them to be mutilated like that you sadistic bastard!  You could have just incapacitated them.  They were just doing their jobs.  You of all people should know what that’s like!”

“I did ‘incapacitate’ them.  Besides, if they didn’t have the skill to take down a shinobi of my caliber,” he said coolly, “then they shouldn’t have been pursuing me in the first place.”

“They were your friends too!”

“Never hunt what you can’t kill,” he replied dispassionately.

“You cost them their jobs, their futures.  Don’t you care?” Naruto nearly screamed.

“Not particularly,” he said casually, as if the topic at hand was nothing more than the time of day.  “That was your doing.  You cost them their lives.  You sent them to retrieve me, when you could have just left me alone and look where it got them.  Their blood is on…”

He never got to finish because Naruto flew at him with unsurpassed speed.  _Hmm… Your emotions always did get the best of you._   He deflected the attack, flicked a kunai into the ground, flipped over Naruto’s head, and landed about ten feet way with a sneer.  “You may as well have driven a kunai into each of their hearts yourself.  It would have saved us all a lot of time.”

“How dare you!” Naruto growled, and attacked recklessly again.  He left another kunai embedded in the dirt, and moved left.  “You son of a bitch!  They were citizens of Konoha, and I cherished them.”

“Yet you fed them to the wolves…” he replied with a half smile.  Naruto had seemingly heard enough, he launched himself at his target, and within moments, they’d clashed all over the field.  He stepped back to admire his handiwork, and smiled.  With a flick of his wrist, the last kunai he needed slid across his palm, and struck the earth, taking his blood with it.  “Ketsueki KadouNo Jutsu _(Bloody Vortex Jutsu)_ …”

With a shrill scream Naruto fell to one knee, the nin-wire surrounding him began to glow, and his eyes widened in shock.  As the color grew in strength, so did the pain.  But he couldn’t figure out where the pain was coming from.  He could tell that the wire was grazing his skin, although not closely enough to cause any pain, and that it almost had a pulse of its own, but beyond that he was at a loss.

“A new jutsu I created.  Isn’t it interesting?” he asked with a gleam in his eye that Naruto was sure he’d only seen in Orochimaru’s slitted orbs.  “Well, as I have business to attend to,” he said as he mockingly bowed to his former Hokage, “I must take my leave.”  With that he strolled across the field, intent on making up for his wasted time.

However, Naruto’s voice stopped him.  “This jutsu won’t hold me for long.  You have to know that!” 

He shook his head and smiled to himself.  _Hmmm… so overconfident, that you underestimated me.  In the end, I got the better of you.  But I know you won’t make the same mistake twice.  The next time we meet, you will most likely kill me._

“Perhaps,” he replied.  “Although, I must say, if I were you, I wouldn’t wiggle so much.  That happens to be the very same jutsu that was incredibly helpful in ravaging your precious Anbu.”

“You heartless bastard… Come back here!!  Don’t think that I won’t hunt you down like the dog you are.  You are a missing-nin, and a traitor to your village, my village, it’s my duty to bring you back, to face the council, and I will.  I swear on the memory of the third that I will bring you back to Konoha.  I swear it.”  _Count on Naruto, the most powerful of all the Kage’s, in the five great nations, to always be behind the curve_ , he thought as he flew through the trees, losing the blonde’s shouts in the thunderous gusts that swirled around him, as he got further and further away.

Several hours later, he was nearing his destination.  _Just three more hours, well maybe a bit more_ , he thought, _and I should be within range._   All he’d have to do was send out a pulse of chakra, and he’d know exactly where to find Itachi.  He’d made well beyond decent time, despite his dalliances.  Then again, regardless of his current lifestyle, he’d managed to stay in great shape.  He was still lithe and lean, his body toned to perfection.

_The storms getting worse_ , he thought as a particularly loud clap of thunder followed in the wake of a vivid streak of electric light.  With that in mind, he made himself comfortable in a tree and let tendrils of chakra stretch down the trunk, and across the earth.  He could only half concentrate, as he didn’t want to be taken by surprise, but allowed himself to lose half his consciousness in the things his chakra was telling him.  It didn’t take long to find what he was looking for.  He drew his chakra back, careful not to leave any imprints in the soil, and formed the seals for a teleportation jutsu.

When the smoke cleared, he found himself in an abandoned building.  It had probably once been someone’s home.  There was a wire cot to the far right, with a single mattress.  The patched quilt was filled with holes, and a shredded pillow was its only guest.  Directly across the room, there was a small kitchen, with a wood burning stove, and the soot caked over its spout, showed its heavy use.  The dresser to his left appeared to be made of oak.  It had five drawers, with silver handles, and a long rutted top, covered in dust. 

He took a second look around the room, and found Itachi in the corner opposite him.  He held a kunai in one hand, his sharingan, as always, was active, and spun hypnotically.  Crimson burned into obsidian, as they sized each other up, each knowing that were they to fight, the other wouldn’t make it out alive.  “Itachi…” he growled as his own sharingan swirled in uncontained anticipation…

\------------------------------------------------------------

“Bastard!” Naruto managed to mumble.  His voice was incredibly hoarse.  He’d been screaming for what seemed like hours, but in actuality was no longer then several minutes.  Probably not one of his best ideas, that was for sure, but he couldn’t help it really.  Everyone knew he was led by emotion and instinct, and right now, he was angry beyond words.  There had never been another man whose words made him so incensed.  How he could be so callus, he would never understand.

_How the hell do I get out of this_ , he asked himself.  _He said it was a jutsu he just created._ Judging by the creator, he assumed a simple release wouldn’t be enough.  _So… What do I know?  There has to be a trick to this._   The more he struggled, the tighter the invisible bonds became.  The nin-wire and strategically place kunai, obviously meant something, but what?  He noticed that the wire was arranged into three points.  Each point began at a kunai and spread out in a diamond type shape.  He was standing over the fourth kunai in the center, where all three diamonds over-lapped. 

_It’s possible that this is some kind of sealing jutsu.  A three prong seal?  No… Sealing Jutsu’s don’t mangle someone like that… Maybe it’s a genjutsu… That’s not right.  A genjutsu is like a dream.  The damage isn’t real.  That leaves ninjutsu, but I’ve never heard of anything like this.  Could it be a three prong seal ninjutsu?  Instead of sealing chakra, it seals a person?_ If that was true, all he’d have to do was remove one of the kunai, or seals, to break the jutsu.

Since he was almost completely unable to move, he couldn’t really do anything but squirm.  The more he fidgeted, the greater the pain he felt, and the shorter his breath became.  He’d have to make as few movements as possible, if he didn’t want to fall prey to this technique.  Moving as slowly as he could, he slid his right hand down his thigh.  When he’d reached as far as he could go, his fingers grazed the tip of his kunai pouch.  _Shit… just a few more inches_ , he thought, then strained against his bonds, and closed the tiny gap.  He drew out two kunai, and began to right himself.

Before he could maneuver into a better throwing position, the nin-wire that surrounded him began to tear into his skin.  He couldn’t prevent the cries that poured from his lips, as his blood splattered to the ground.  _Come on fox… you better kick it into high gear_ , he thought.  Urging, what he’d come to know as his inner guardian, to save his life one more time.  He obviously needed some serious help at the moment; otherwise he’d end up just like his guards. _This isn’t good.  A few more minutes_ …

He tossed one of the kunai in his hand forward, at a slight downward angle.  The kunai lodged in the earth fell away from the circle, but the wires were all still linked together.  All his efforts seemed futile, because the wires had only grown tighter.  All he’d succeeded in doing was putting himself at deaths door, and the pain was almost unbearable.  Kyuubi was fighting to heal the hundreds of tiny, but deep, wounds all over his body. 

He couldn’t believe it.  Of all the men he’d ever faced, of all the foolish things he’d ever done, he was about to find death at the hands of a man he’d once called friend, along with several other expletives.  _Think, Naruto… think damn it_ , he screamed in his head.  Kyuubi was starting to lose the battle, and he was already feeling the effects.  For every wound that was healed, five new ones appeared in its stead.

He was starting to feel lightheaded.  His vision grew cloudy, and his hands began to tremble, allowing the second kunai he held, to slip from his grip, and tumble to the ground.  _Shit!  Not like this… Not now…_   “I refuse to fucking die here!  There has to be a way too…”  _Of course!  Why didn’t I think of it before?  The pulse I felt earlier.  The focus point… That’s got to be it_ , he thought.  _If not…_

Without hesitation, he allowed himself to fall backwards.  He landed on the soggy earth with a thud, forcing his hard fought breath from his lungs.  With what little strength he had left, he kicked away the center kunai, and the strings fell away.  With nothing to tie them together, they began to disintegrate, setting him free.

He shoved himself to his feet, as he unleashed several violent coughs, his body struggling for oxygen, and blood flying from his lips.  _Have to go after him_ , he thought foggily, but that wasn’t to be, because the ground rushed up to meet him.  The last thing he thought before he lost consciousness was…

_You will pay for what you’ve done… I swear it…_

\------------------------------------------------------------

He watched as the kunai Itachi spun around his index finger, slowed to a halt, and disappeared into the folds of his dark cloak.  “There’s plenty of time for a match to the death later.”  _He’s right…_   There would be time enough to test his skill against the sharingan prodigy, and arguably, the most talented sharingan wielder in Uchiha history, once their brief alliance was over.

He slid his own kunai into the pouch attached to his right thigh.  “Of course,” he muttered, slightly disappointed, and yet counting down the days joyously, until he was finally able to rip Itachi’s still beating heart out of his chest.  His hatred did indeed burn brightly.  It was an inferno that left a mere volcanic eruption in the dust.  It whittled away at him, like a corrosive acid, and seeing his demarcated Konoha hitae-ate, that told the world he was a shinobi without a village, only intensified his loathing.

“Our mission takes us to Amegakure.  The target is a weapons merchant known only as, Atsuma.  The mission target date is three days, and pays 500,000 ryo.”

“That seems a bit steep for a simple assassination,” he remarked stiffly, trying to sound congenial.

“Normally, I would agree with you, but as you know, Amegakure is incredibly well protected.  Even just the simple infiltration will be a two man task.  You’ll need my help to get in.  Once inside, you’ll be on your own, so try not to screw up.  I can’t be seen in the village, so there won’t be anyone to save your ass if there’s trouble.”

“Why?”

“Atsuma’s gang stole an incredibly large sum of money from one of my business acquaintances, and I assured him I would handle it immediately.  However, if me, or any of my associates, are seen in the village, you won’t be able to get within a hundred yards of the target.”

“So this is about revenge?”

“Is that a problem?”

“Not at all.”

With that, they were on their way.  Moving like shadows through the trees, without so much as a fluttering leaf to mark their passing.  Working this closely with Itachi was something he never would have thought would be possible, given their history.  To put it simply, he had nothing but loathing and revulsion for Itachi.  But money, was money, and he needed it.  Constant travel was hard on the wallet, and his was starting to look pretty beat up.

It took them almost the whole night, to reach Amegakure.  As they stood about 150 yards outside the border, he set his pack aside, and began to remove anything that might mark him as a shinobi, minus the few weapons he hid beneath his oversized shirt.  Using a mixture of his own, and Itachi’s chakra, he created a henge no kekkei genkai could penetrate, and sat down to meditate.

“It’s time,” Itachi called, breaking his concentration.  “Once the target has been eliminated, return to the cabin where we met, and your money will be waiting for you.”

“No tricks?  No surprises?” he asked suspiciously.

“None.  You have my word.”  _Lying bastard…_  “Shall we begin?”

He responded with a nod of his head, and pushed to his feet.  Itachi drew a circle in the earth that surrounded them both.  He took the coin wallet Itachi handed him, with a smile, and took his place in the circle.  “What are you smiling about?” Itachi asked with a grimace.  “That money is exclusively for mission expenses.  Once your mission is complete, your expenditures will be subtracted from your purse.  Do you understand?” he said condescendingly, and took his place in the circle.

They stood a few feet away from each other, feet shoulder width apart, hands before them, prepared to make their seals.  They began in time with dragon, rat, dog, and tiger.  Itachi made six seals, and then he made six seals of his own in response.  They finished with dragon, rat, dog, and tiger once again. 

There was a quick burst of chakra that felt like fire, and he caught a bright white light.  As the brilliant light cleared, he could hear Itachi’s voice echoing behind him.  “Bring proof…”  _Bring Proof?_   What kind of shinobi did they think him?  He couldn’t get the cash without accomplishing the assignment.  His pride wouldn’t allow him to be that unscrupulous.  He’d sunk low, but not THAT low. 

As the white specks the light left in its wake began to disappear, he took in his surroundings.  He was obviously inside Amegakure, and he was very surprised by what he found.  They were almost as technologically advanced as snow.  It was a welcome change.  He gripped the hefty wallet he’d received from Itachi, and went in search of a hotel, which he knew would have steaming hot showers.  Oh how he’d missed modern plumbing during his travels.  This mission would turn out to be a real treat.  He still had two days, so he may as well enjoy a night of room service, hot water, and a plush bed.

\------------------------------------------------------------

_What the hell?_ , he thought as he began to regain consciousness.  He slowly pushed himself from the ground, into an upright position, and noticed that his robes were torn and covered in dried mud and blood.  “What the fuck…” he asked himself, as he took in his uniform, and the pounding headache he couldn’t ignore.  Something had definitely happened, but he couldn’t really remember what. 

When he was all the way on his feet, he pulled himself up into a tree.  For some reason he was incredibly tired, simply climbing the tree had left him severely winded, but he couldn’t figure out why.  As he closed his eyes, it finally dawned on him.  The memory loss, his fogged vision, the agonizing headache, his aching bones and burning muscles… _Chakra depletion?  But that’s impossible!  There's no way that I could be suffering from Chakra_ … 

He was dead to the world in seconds…

When he came around several hours later, he took in his tattered clothing, and a voice played in his head.  Never hunt what you can’t kill it said, and that’s when it all came rushing back to him like a bad dream.  The words kept repeating in his head like an ominous mantra, and he smiled grimly.  _That’s very good advice._ As far as he was concerned, truer words had never been spoken.  The hunt was most definitely on, and based on the way his body felt at this very second, he had no intention of being the prey this time around.

With a look of determination, he let his chakra flow through the roots of the tree, and into the earth.  The strain on his chakra only worsened his already miserable migraine, but it didn’t matter.  He pushed his chakra across the miles, until he felt a rather sizeable chakra source.  It was probably more than a day away, well at least with the way he felt, it was.

Without a moments hesitation, he leapt from his perch to another branch, and despite his horrendous condition, set off in the direction of what he assumed was his target.  He set a slow pace, he intended to travel all through the night, and he wouldn’t be able to accomplish that one small goal, at a break neck pace.  His body was just too mangled.  Besides, the slower his pace, the better he’d feel when he finally arrived. 

When the sun began to set, he came to a stop, and relaxed against the trunk of the tree in which he crouched.  This excursion was taking a much greater toll on his already ailing body, then he’d expected.  _I feel like a ninety-year-old man… fucking bastard… although that jutsu really is something,_ he thought to himself, more then a little impressed.  _I can’t believe he created a jutsu that is completely self-sustaining.  Once in place, it absorbs the victims’ chakra, and actually turns it against its master._  

He hadn’t realized it at first, but a few hours into his travels today, he’d caught on.  It made perfect sense, really.  The jutsu was very intricate in its design, and very well thought out.  Only a genius could have thought up a jutsu that was so clever.  However, the escape maneuver was so basic, that he almost felt stupid for not picking up on it sooner.  But it certainly explained how he’d lost so many highly trained ANBU.  _If it weren’t for Kyuubi_ , he thought with a shake of his head.  The average shinobi just didn’t have enough chakra to stay conscious long enough to figure it out.  Of course none of them could instantly heal either.  So once again, the thing that had made him cursed as a child was a blessing.  

Folding his legs beneath him, Indian style, he brought his hands together, and allowed himself to drift into a meditative state, while keeping one ear open.  Over the years, meditation was the only outlet he’d found that truly allowed him genuine rest.  It would restore a rather large portion of chakra, and relieve his headache.  Hopefully, because he was in a sleep like state, he would come out of it feeling energized, and well rested. 

When he finally felt his chakra returning to a more normal level, he dropped his hands with a sigh.  That was the only problem with meditation.  It always let him see into the hidden recesses of his heart and mind.  He couldn’t believe what he was doing.  Where he was going.  Who he was chasing.  It just wasn’t fair.  It was like he was cursed.  Although, this was certainly a new angle.  This time he would be the one to rip out his soul, and tear it to ribbons.  It seemed so backwards, but he already knew how it would end. 

_He’ll never let me take him alive…_

With a frown, he leapt to the ground, and pulled out a scroll.  He rolled it open across the ground, and made a few seals.  When he finished the release, several items appeared on the scroll.  He pulled off his cloak, and his orange over shirt, and placed them on top of the scroll.  He ran his fingers over his old jounin vest reverently, tugged it on, and pulled the zipper into place.  He placed an extra kunai pouch on his other thigh, and then sealed the scroll back up, hiding away his emergency stash.  He pushed to his feet, rolled up the scroll, slid the scroll into its place, and slipped gracefully through the trees.

It was already midnight judging by the height of the moon, and as far as he could tell, he still had another half days travel, so he pressed himself on.  For some reason, he knew that half a day, was just too long.  Something about it just didn’t feel… right.  There was no other word for it, so he pushed as hard as he could, sprinting through the trees.  At this pace, with the amount of chakra he’d managed to recover, he’d burn out in a little over eight hours, he just had to hope like hell he was already where he needed to be by then.

An hour after sunrise he was almost close enough to do a teleportation jutsu.  He could have done it from much further away, but it would have been a huge drain on his already scanty chakra supply.  As he grew closer, the chakra signature seemed to intensify.  It had doubled in the time between his first and second chakra search, and had nearly tripled in the last half hour.  He was beginning to wonder if it wasn’t the person he was looking for, until he realized that it was more then one chakra signature, and with the potency of the pulses he was sensing, they were most definitely fighting.

He came to a stop, made a few seals, and vanished in a swirl of leaves.  When he reached the location on the other side of the portal he’d created, he could make out the sounds of combat.  From the branch where he stood, he could make out a dilapidated shack and a small clearing to its twelve.  He slid into the shadows, and used them to cover his approach, moving stealthily from tree to tree until he reached the border of the clearing.

_Itachi?  Oh shit…_  

This was turning out to be a real pain in the ass.  He watched as Itachi muttered the two most dreaded words any shinobi could possibly imagine.  “Mangekyo Sharingan…” and just like that, his target, his former friend, his deserter, collapsed.  When Itachi spoke again, he repressed the urge to shudder at the iciness in his tone.  “Thank you very much for your services, as we won’t be needing your assistance in the future…” he punctuated his sentence by pulling a long slender dagger with a serrated blade, and the Uchiha crest emblazoned on the handle, from his cloak.

“Fuck you… Itachi!” he growled, as blood spilled from his lips.  “I swear to you that I… will rip your fucking heart… out of your chest,” he forced out between wet coughs.

“I’m rather impressed.  After all that, you’re still conscious?  After facing my Mangekyo Sharingan, you’re still cognizant?  Interesting…” Itachi mumbled pensively.  _This isn’t good…_    “Well then, I guess we’ll just have to give it another shot, won’t we?” 

_That will fucking kill him!_ He could feel Kyuubi stir within him, the anger inside him building into a rumble.  Kyuubi was pacing in the cage within his body, and he could feel the change coming over him, the red chakra mixing with his own.  _He is a traitor, but..._

“Mangekyo…”

… _he still has things to answer for_.  At least that’s what he told himself as he dashed forward, and nailed Itachi’s back with a Rasengan, before he could finish his jutsu.  Itachi was sent spiraling into the ramshackle cabin, his body crashed through the front wall, and out the back of the cabin, leaving the old home unbalanced.  The house began to collapse around him as he got to his feet, and Naruto turned to face him, ruby eyes blazing, red chakra swirling around him. 

“Stay out of this, it has nothing to do with you.” Itachi muttered.

Kyuubi was flowing through every crevice of his body.  Rage, like he’d never felt before, burned through him.  He couldn’t truly understand where it was all coming from, but it was overwhelming in its severity.  In this moment all he knew was that he refused to just walk away.  He refused to leave this man, his friend… _former friend_ , his conscience poked… to die.  Not at Itachi’s hand, and not at anybody else’s either.  When he spoke, his voice wasn’t his own, “If you don’t get the fuck out of here, Uchiha, I will shred you limb from limb!”

Itachi remained where he stood, seemingly gauging the seriousness of his statement, and the level of his strength.  Sharingan burgundy met feline slitted crimson for the briefest moment, and he felt a small pain that began in his eyes, and moved south into his abdomen.  He couldn’t help but laugh, his lips curling into a humorless smile.  “Your precious Mangekyo Sharingan isn’t going to work on me, so don’t bother to try,” he shouted, and it came out more like a howl. 

“Don’t be so sure,” Itachi snarled, and pulled a kunai, seamlessly falling into a perfect defensive position, that was second nature to each and every shinobi.

“Oh, but that’s just it, Itachi.  There’s not a speck of doubt in my mind,” he growled, as he stared down at the body at his feet.  When he looked up, a fire that had no comparison, burned in his eyes.  “First I’ll break you.  Then I’ll eviscerate you, and just before I annihilate you, I’m going to tear out those pretty eyes of yours.”  _Show me what you’re made of,_ he thought with an inner chuckle, _andI promise… I’ll still own you, Uchiha._  His right foot slid forward, propelling his body into an offensive stance. 

He couldn’t help the hysterical, almost maniacal laughter that began to fall from his lips, as he stared down the sharingan genius on the opposite end of the clearing.  He was starting to lose it.  He was about to break for the second time in his shinobi career, and Itachi would pay the price.  _But he started it_ , he reasoned as he tried to placate himself.  _No, this started over a year ago_ , his conscience told him, and he couldn’t deny the candid truth of that statement. 

Kyuubi was taking over, and he was dangerously close to losing his hard fought control over the beast.  The man beside him coughed, blood bubbling from his throat, and splattering to the earth.  Just like that, something within him shattered.  Kyuubi rattled inside him screaming for vengeance.  For once they were in agreement.  They wanted blood, and right now, the only blood that would suffice, the only blood that mattered, the only blood that would quench his wrathful heart, and Kyuubi’s blood lust, was Itachi’s.

He looked over, and Itachi was standing stiffly, almost as if he’d been strung far too tightly.  There were several emotions playing across his face, and the stench of trepidation was heavy in the air, coming off the golden Uchiha in waves.  It was certainly unusual, to see such a stoic man be this expressive.  Suddenly, Itachi disappeared in a cloud of smoke, and Kyuubi howled from within him.

Yes, Itachi had run, but it didn’t really matter.  He had more important things to deal with.  The Uchiha prodigy was nothing more then a fly for him to swat, if and when the mood struck him, so he could, and would, settle the score, when the correct time and place presented itself.  He reigned in the demons chakra, and with it, his rage.  He turned to the crumpled body behind him, tossed it over his shoulder, and vanished as well.      

\------------------------------------------------------------

As small wisps of consciousness began flowing through his body, he could sense someone in the room with him.  He kept his breathing and pulse even, and tried to assess the situation in which he found himself.  His entire body felt numb, so he tried moving one finger slightly, but it wouldn’t move.  He was lying in a rather comfortable bed, and he couldn’t feel any bonds on his arms or legs, so he obviously wasn’t a captive.  But if he wasn’t a prisoner…

What was he?

That’s when he heard it.  A sound so beautiful, and so familiar, that he almost wanted to cry.  A sound that he’d heard a million times, whispered in seduction, gasped in pleasure, or screamed in ecstasy.  It seemed an eternity since he’d first heard that low jagged voice call to him in the stillness left behind by the midnight hours. Then it came again, and even though he hated himself for it, he couldn’t help the jump of his heart, the spike of his pulse, the surge of his body…

“Ka-ka-shi…”

_Flashback:  Two years ago…_

\------------------------------------------------------------

It seemed as much a routine now as his daily visits to Obito.  He would sit on a rooftop across the way, and stare into his apartment window.  He couldn’t understand it, and while it didn’t make much sense, he didn’t really care.  Somehow the blonde had mesmerized him.  Years had passed since he’d been Naruto’s sensei, yet the more time that passed, the more captivated he found himself.

Yes, the boy had grown to be the perfect male specimen.  Six feet, four inches of lean hard muscle, perfectly bronzed flesh, shaggy golden hair, that looked to be as soft as hand spun silk, a slightly stubbled well defined jaw, that gave him a rugged appearance, and blue eyes with a red inner swirl, that smoldered in both anger and joy, and could melt a polar icecap.

Yes, the young man was absolutely delicious, but it was more then that.  There was something about the nearly unending passion and conviction, in which the blonde faced every waking second of every day.  It fascinated him to find such an enigma amongst shinobi.  Most ninja were jaded well before they reached the prime of their careers, yet this boy, who appeared so simple minded, seemed to only grow more devoted to his shinobi duties.  It was almost as if he liked to be used, but no man could ever be that masochistic, could they?

Perhaps Naruto held a secret inside, that no one else knew.  He could discern what appeared to be a yawn.  He watched Naruto stretch his arms above his head and rub his eyes.  He looked at his watch and realized that it was already quite late, 10:30.  He’d wasted more then half the day, just staring like a mindless idiot.  If it wasn’t such commonplace behavior for him, he might be embarrassed, but it was his way, to just get lost.

He raised his hitae-ate, and memorized the lines of the boys face, as he pulled the tie from his hair, and shook his short ponytail loose.  Tan slender fingers stroked through his chin-length sunshine locks, removing the tangles, and the head turned to face him.  Azure eyes reached across the space between them, and he flinched.  _No way_ ,he thought with a shudder, it was like the boy could, not only see him, but also see through him.  He slid his hitae-ate back over his sharingan eye, and poofed himself home. 

That was the third time this week, that he’d almost gotten caught, and he couldn’t let that happen.  What would he say to the boy, when he asked?  And Naruto would ask if he ever found out, of that much he was certain.  Somehow he didn’t think, ‘Naruto, I’ve fallen in love with you’, would go over very well.  But that’s what it was.  He was sure of it.  Love…

When the attraction began, he’d assumed it was because he was so much like Obito, but Naruto deserved better then that, and in truth, they were nothing alike.  Naruto surpassed Obito in both annoyance, and loud clumsy enthusiasm.  He also, however, was the best damn shinobi Kakashi had ever seen.  His skill was unparalleled, when he didn’t let his fervor run away with him, and even when he did, he was virtually indestructible.  His love had bloomed from respect, not familiarity, and had become about so much more.

But Naruto should, and if he had anything to say about it, would, never have any idea about his true feelings.  The boy was already in love with someone else.  A love that he was positive, he could never transcend.  Even though the blonde denied it, he was still very much in love with Sasuke, and always had been.  The long years hadn’t seemed to dull the yearning he saw in Naruto’s eyes, whenever someone mentioned the Uchiha heir.

Sasuke may be a traitor, and therefore, an enemy to the Hokage, the future Hokage, and the entire village, but Naruto seemingly, still loved and desired him, just the same.  It was a fact that ripped at him, leaving a pain worse then any weapon or jutsu ever had.  Sasuke had been gone for almost ten years, but he still owned the one thing the man beneath the shinobi had ever hungered to call his own.  Naruto’s heart…    

With a sigh, he nestled himself into his couch, pulled out Icha Icha Paradise Volume thirteen, and turned to his favorite page, intent on rereading the last fifty pages one more time before bed.  When he finished, he turned the lamp switch, and made his way down the hallway.  As he turned the knob to his bedroom door, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up.  That, of course, was a bad sign.  It meant something was off.  He slipped out a kunai, and tried to read what was beyond his sight, in his closed bedroom, but he felt nothing.  Whatever it was, it was behind him, and not before him.

He tiptoed back towards his living room, and peeked around the corner.  He could feel the small, almost imperceptible, amount of chakra residue that always lingered after a teleportation jutsu.  Someone had either just transported in, or they had just left.  He truly hoped it was the latter.  He had no need, or want, to fight it out in his own apartment.  Not only would he probably be fined a rather large sum of money because of the noise, but he happened to be particularly fond of his well-worn furniture.

He heard his name called in the darkness.  It was a gravelly near breathless sound that scraped over his skin, leaving him half off kilter.  He knew that voice.  It was unmistakable.  He stepped into his living room, and stood there in the darkness, facing the very same eyes that haunted every facet of his waking and sleeping worlds.

“Kakashi?” Naruto asked again, but he couldn’t speak.  A tan arm reached out, and turned the table lamp on.  In the slightly orange glow, he looked over the man on the other side of the room.  He had abandoned his jounin uniform for the evening.  Instead he wore blue jeans that left little to the imagination, a tight black v-neck shirt, with short sleeves, and black boots.

“Kakashi…” Naruto began again, and he frowned behind his mask.  He knew exactly what was coming.  “You’ve been watching me almost everyday for two months now.  Why?”  _He’s known that long?  Why the hell didn’t he say something when we had dinner last week?_

“Uh… I… Well... you see…” he stuttered, as his hand rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, and pink bloomed on his cheeks.  As the blonde moved towards him, he flinched, stopping Naruto in his tracks.  “Naruto, I don’t really…”

“Kakashi…” Naruto whispered again.  He looked up into those eyes, and they were fierce.  Burning with what he hoped was curiosity, but assumed was fury.

They stood there, each appraising the other, and he fretted over the small physical distance, which could easily be overcome.  Yet he couldn’t seem to push his feet, because no matter how close they actually stood, no matter how entwined they ever became, he would never be able to cross the emotional divide that Sasuke filled, even in his absence.  “Naruto, look…” he began, dropping his hand with a sigh.

With speed like none he’d ever seen, he found himself caught by the throat, and pressed into his blue gray living room wall.  His right hand caught Naruto’s wrist, and tried to dislodge it from his throat, but it was futile.  He’d only escape if it were allowed.  His feet dangled helplessly a few inches above the ground, and he realized belatedly, that he could breathe.  The hand that held his life, or death, wasn’t attempting to harm him in any way.

He turned his lone eye up to face the other man head on, and found brilliant azure orbs, staring back at him.  Naruto’s left hand reached up and slid his hitae-ate away, and he gulped.  Two tender fingers reached inside the trim of his mask, and skimmed across his skin, in a caress gentler then he’d ever believe possible for such a brash young man.

He pulled at the arm that gripped him, more persistently then before, knowing exactly what was coming, and being completely unable to do anything about it.  Well, not without hurting the other man, something he just couldn’t bare to do.  So it happened…  He simply hung there, with his eyes clenched shut, while two tan digits pulled his mask down, and rested it against, the hand that held him in place. 

Everything went still, each second passed like an eternity.  The entire world held its breath, and he wondered briefly if they would stay frozen like this forever.  “Kakashi, open your eyes,” the boy asked roughly, and he obeyed.  He had no illusions that the blonde had truly meant to ask.  It had been a command.  Of that much, he was convinced.

When his eyes slid open, two eyes bore into his sharingan eye, as a gentle hand ran through his silver bangs, and then traced his scar down his cheek.  He tried to find cobalt eyes with his own, but they had followed the very same fingers, that now caressed his slightly fuller lower lip.  And just like that, the world smashed into a thousand pieces, as two lips found his own and a questing tongue, pressed inside, allowed entrance by his shocked intake of breath.

He couldn’t seem to force his body to reciprocate, as lips and tongue worked against his own, trying to coax them out to play.  Without a response, Naruto pulled back, and looked him in the eyes again.  He was set back onto his feet, and two large hands planted themselves on either side of his head.  Naruto searched his mismatched orbs with his own, and seemed confused by what they saw.

A hand slid down the wall, and came to rest beneath his chin.  “Ka-ka-shi…” the boy whispered so softly, that were it not for the breath that fanned across his kiss swollen lips, he would have guessed it was his imagination.  “Ka-ka-shi…” the blonde called again, this time it was a low growl, filled with something he’d never quite heard before.

Naruto tugged his chin up, and ravaged his lips again.  His mouth was hot and demanding, and this time he did yield.  He wrapped his arms around his former student’s neck, and leaned into the kiss, letting out a small moan, as his tongue battled for dominance.

He made no objections when he was swept off his feet, and lips still entwined, they headed for his bedroom… 

_End Flashback…_

\------------------------------------------------------------

_Shit_ , he thought.  He couldn’t stand to be in the same room as this man, but at the same time, he was proud, proud of his former student.  His former…  He’d escaped the jutsu.  Of course, he’d known he would.  He’d known that eventually they would cross paths, and Naruto wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to try and capture him, and that’s exactly why he’d created his second original technique.  It wasn’t meant to kill him, just detain him.  He had no want or need to tangle with him.  Not because he was afraid to die, but because his heart couldn’t bare it.

_What the hell am I going to do?_  

It seems he was in fact a captive.  There was no way Naruto would set him free instead of dragging him back to Konoha to answer for his crimes.  There was no need for them to reprimand him.  He got all the punishment he needed whenever he looked in a mirror.  He loathed what he’d become, a traitor to one of the very few things that had ever truly mattered, his village.  His existence was enough of a misery.  There was almost nothing left of the man he’d once been, and being in that village with Naruto, would only rip out what was left of his humanity, and compassion.  There were some things he just didn’t need to witness EVER again.

“Kakashi, open your eyes.  I know you’re awake,” the blonde called from the foot of the bed.  He warred with the possibility of doing just what the boy had demanded.  It was almost second nature at this point.  “I can see how tense you are.  Your breathing is jagged, and you’re sending out little waves of chakra, so for once, Kakashi, save us both the battle of wills.”

He took a deep breath, and opened his eyes slowly, only to have all his precious oxygen knocked out of him, when he took in the man at the opposite end of the bed.  In all this time, Naruto hadn’t stopped affecting him.  His hair was longer now, and tousled about his face.  His jounin’s vest was unzipped, and he wore nothing beneath it, leaving the most beautiful expanse of skin, open to appreciating eyes that would begin at his perfect chest, and naturally wander south, to the most well defined abs he’d ever seen.  His arms were folded over his chest, accentuating the curves and planes of the muscles in his arms.

He fought to regain his composure, and tried to mount some sort of visual defense, but he couldn’t muster up a single frigid stare.  _Goddamn it… get a grip man… this is a war_ , he thought to himself, and technically it was.  He was warring with every single impulse his mind, body, and even his own traitorous soul, were feeding him.  But he couldn’t deny, and wouldn’t deny, that each and every single compulsion he was trying to fend off, were things he’d yearned to do for almost sixteen months.

Sapphire eyes washed over him, it made his skin tingle, and he wondered if just maybe he could move now.  Prayed that he could move now.  His body still felt anesthetized and rigid. It was similar to that feeling you get when your leg falls asleep, so he must have been out of it for quite some time.  He began to concentrate on his fingers, when Naruto, as if having read his mind, interrupted him.  “You won’t be able to move.  I’ve restrained you with a jutsu I created for interrogation when I was ANBU.  There’s no way out of it.”

He took a moment to test, and found that not a single appendage on his body would respond to his will.  He growled loudly in frustration, and seemed almost surprised at the sound he’d just made.  Naruto chuckled lightly, then added smugly, “You can speak with this jutsu.  It would be very difficult to interrogate someone who couldn’t speak, wouldn’t it?”

“Anything else I should know,” he asked bitterly, his throat hoarse from disuse.

“You should be able to move your head as well,” Naruto mumbled as he wandered away from the bed.

I need to get the fuck out of here.  He couldn’t stand those accusing burning eyes that used to dance when they saw each other.  Now they told a different story, and those indigo orbs spoke of profound pain.  He curled his head to the side, and dedicated himself to a plan for escape.  He’d just have to watch, listen, and wait.  Every lock had a key.  Every jutsu had a release.  Every problem had a solution, and every man had a weakness.  Therefore, every cage, inevitably, had a latch.

There was just one little malfunction…

\------------------------------------------------------------

After washing his hands, he returned to the bed, and was dismayed to find that Kakashi had buried his head as far into the pillow as he could.  _Childish… immature… bastard_ , he thought before setting down the tray of medical supplies he’d gathered. 

“Kakashi,” Naruto began with a sigh.  When he didn’t receive so much as a flinch to acknowledge that he’d been heard, he frowned.  _Hmmm… well two can play at that game_.  He began again, but this time he continued on uncaring, speaking at Kakashi, instead of to him, and reveling in it, because Kakashi hated to be lectured, but even more so, for as silent as he tried to be, and as much as he tried to blend into the background, he loathed to be ignored. 

“You’ve been out for almost a week, you know?  But chakra depletion will do that to you,” he chattered as he tore away the bandage on Kakashi’s side with an evil smile, even though he knew Kakashi wouldn’t be able to feel the sting.  “I’ve been treating your wounds, and I’ve got to say, you look like crap.  Itachi really did a number on you,” he babbled as he soaked some gauze in hot water, and began to wipe away the dried blood that had collected in the last several hours.  “Or maybe you just haven’t been taking care of yourself, hmm?”

He tossed the bloody gauze away, emptied the bowl, grabbed some fresh gauze, and dried the damp pale skin on his right side, all the while blathering on and on.  When he finished he disposed of the gauze in his hand, then went to wash his hands one more time before he added an antibiotic ointment, one of Sakura’s greatest inventions, and fresh bandages.

“Kakashi, I don’t know why you always do this to yourself,” he prattled as he continued to work.  “You push too hard.  Try to remember that you’re getting old, and this kind of wound isn’t as easily mended as when you were a young man, all those years ago.”  He didn’t miss the clench of Kakashi’s jaw after that one, and he smiled to himself.  _Just a little more…_

“Honestly, why would you try to face Itachi?  I don’t really understand, so maybe you can explain it to me.  Do you have some sort of death wish?  I just don’t get you.  You’re skill levels are so… It’s no surprise he nearly...” he sighed.  “It’s a good thing I showed up to save…”

“Don’t… make… another… fucking… sound,” Kakashi growled, and he couldn’t help but smile with delight.  He’d managed to break the silent treatment.  That was more then a decent start, and anyone who knew Kakashi well, would tell you, it was an accomplishment to be proud of.  The silver-haired jounin was one stubborn bastard, when he wanted to be, and he was always in the mood.  He finished bandaging the other shinobi, and passed a hand over Kakashi’s head. _Sleep_ , he thought, and Kakashi fell into a deep slumber.  Another perk of the jutsu he’d created, control of basic human functions. 

He returned all the supplies to the bag he’d bought the first day Kakashi had been out of it.  He’d been flushed, clammy, extremely feverish, and bleeding like a stuck pig.  He hadn’t intended to keep Kakashi in the jutsu for so long, but unfortunately, his fever had been so bad, that he’d been delusional.  Couldn’t have a delirious and dangerous jounin out on the streets with innocent civilians, right?  He’d learned the value in not setting yourself up for disaster, so he’d taken a few extra precautions, and was glad he had.

Thankfully, Kakashi’s fever had passed two days ago.  _Seeing you like that_ , he thought as he sat on the edge of the bed, and looked over the alabaster skin of the man lying next to him.  _I’ve never been more terrified in my entire life._   _I thought I was really gonna lose you this time_ , he thought as he ran his fingers through soft silver tendrils.  _You lost him a long time ago_ , his conscience exclaimed, trying to lay reason to the madness he’d been suffering through for the last six days, and it was the truth.       

Without thought, he laid down, and pulled the other man into an embrace.  It had been so long.  So very long since he’d allowed himself this simple feeling of contentment, almost too long.  Then again, he’d never had this exact feeling with any other man.  But Kakashi was no ordinary man, and what they’d shared was anything but mundane.

_Flashback:  Two years ago…_

\------------------------------------------------------------

He laid in the darkness, wondering at the turn his night had taken.  All he’d originally intended to do was study the scrolls Tsunade had given him, and practice the jutsu’s they contained.  And now…  Of all the ways he’d imagined his evening ending, taking his former sensei, wasn’t one of them.  If he’d made a list, it wouldn’t have even fallen in the top one hundred.  Hell, probably the top thousand.

Then again, a lot had changed in the last ten years, since he’d joined Kakashi’s genin team, especially him.  He’d learned a lot about the world, and even more about himself.  If nothing else, the one thing he’d learned was that anything was possible.  So he shouldn’t be shocked in the least, but he was.  He couldn’t help it, really.  Since the day he met Kakashi, he’d been endlessly fascinated by who he was.  And the man he’d seen wasn’t the type to fall for his student.  As a matter of fact, he wasn’t the type to fall for anyone at all.

In all the years that had passed, he’d never heard of Kakashi dating anyone, and he would have heard, of that much he was certain.  The jounin were a bunch of gossips.  They had no secrets.  As far as he knew, there hadn’t been anyone in years, maybe ever, and that surprised him most of all.  Kakashi hadn’t even shown any kind of genuine reaction, when he’d told him he was gay, and in love with a traitor, other then to say, ‘You just figured that out?’.  Despite the fact that Kakashi read porn constantly, it seemed like he had no sexual pulse whatsoever, and it was such a contradiction, that it mesmerized him even more.

By the time he’d turned eighteen, what had started out as simple curiosity, had morphed into something he couldn’t begin to fathom.  It haunted him day and night, week after week.  Maybe it was a genin crush or puppy love, call it whatever you like, because it doesn’t really matter.  In the first week alone, his dreams had given him more than enough fantasies to last a lifetime, fantasies that continued to haunt him in both dream and reality.

Two years later, that small pang in his stomach had grown into something even greater.  For some reason, it tore at him when Kakashi pointed out that he was still in love with Sasuke, because he honestly didn’t feel like he was.  He whole-heartedly believed that he’d left the Uchiha heir far behind.  Did he miss the boy?  Of course he did.  Sasuke was his best friend, after all, but over the years, that’s all it had become.  It had taken a long time, but he eventually realized that he missed the competition and camaraderie more then the actual person.  Sasuke was a friend, nothing more.  Naturally, the boy would always hold a piece of his heart.  Sasuke was his first love, after all, but he was beginning to believe that his heart now belonged to someone else. 

Someone who would never love him back…

Someone, he was sure, couldn’t love anyone…

But that seemed to be his specialty.  First Sasuke, and now Kakashi.  Apparently, he had an affinity for men that were emotionally retarded.  It was a habit he’d tried to break himself of, over the last few years, but it hadn’t worked.  Perhaps it was because he saw the same need in both Sasuke and Kakashi that he saw in himself.  A need hidden away so deep, they might not even realize it was there.  The need to find someone you could truly trust with, not just your life, but even the most secret details of your most covert missions.  The person who can be strong, when it all becomes too much, and you can’t help but break.  The one person in the entire world who would be more then just a friend and a lover, but a genuine life-mate.

He’d sought that companionship with other men, but all he’d ever found, was that one small moment of bliss.  However, that came as no surprise.  He’d never bothered to try with anyone who lived in the leaf village, and you know what they say about long distance relationships.  They never work out, and none of them ever had.  It wasn’t like he hadn’t had the opportunity.  He had his fair share of admirers amongst Konoha’s shinobi ranks, but the idea of a relationship ending badly with someone he’d have to see on a regular basis left a sour taste in his mouth, so he’d looked elsewhere.

His first real relationship had been with Gaara.  Gaara had also been his first.  The attraction they’d felt for one another had been scorching, and the passion unwavering, but it had never been much more then that, so it ended.  Then there was Nanko, an herbalist from Wave that he’d met while he was on a long-term mission there.  They’d had an instant bond, and had spent endless hours talking and enjoying each others company.  However, their connection had been so attached to the spiritual that they had absolutely no sexual chemistry.  So, that had ended too.  After that, he decided to wait for love to find him, and had left it to fate.

Since then, he’d only been with a handful of men, but he’d never experienced anything like what he’d just felt.  He couldn’t remember a single night in the past that had been that explosive.  His skin still felt as if it were on fire.  He’d been with men that aroused him on a level that seemed unreachable, but they couldn’t compare.  They didn’t even come close.  Not even with Gaara.  Their moments of unrestrained, and sometimes violent passion, had been intense, but it had never been like… that. 

_But that’s probably just because I’ve been waiting so long_ , he told himself.  And he had been waiting a long time.  It seemed like all he’d done since the day he met Kakashi, was wait.  He’d waited ten years just to see his face.  He’d waited eight years to earn his respect, and have him actually speak the words out loud.  He’d waited six years for Kakashi to realize, that he was no longer his student, and didn’t need his protection anymore.  He’d waited four years for Kakashi to notice he was interested, but he seemingly never had.  Then he had to wait around, for the supposedly genius jounin, to realize the attraction was mutual. 

And it had been mutual, that much was obvious.  He’d been able to smell it right away.  The change in his scent was unmistakable.  Whenever they spent time together, it used to drive him mad.  The pheromones in the air had been like a pressure cooker set to high.  This cloud of want and need would hover around them, and his body would pulsate in response.  Of course when Kakashi finally caught on to the attraction he was feeling, which he’d also known the moment it happened, he was forced to wait around for Kakashi to finally make a move, but he never had.

He ran his fingertips over Kakashi’s porcelain skin, and smiled.  It felt nice to lay in bed with someone.  It had been a very long time since he’d spent the night with any of the men he’d slept with.  The shinobi in him just couldn’t accept the idea of spending the night with a man he didn’t really trust.  He could take care of himself, he wasn’t the future Hokage for no reason, but it was almost exactly the same thing as camping out in enemy territory.  And that’s something you just don’t do, unless absolutely necessary, so he didn’t.

He finally allowed his eyes to close, hoping to manage a few hours of sleep, but was sure he wouldn’t dream.  What could his subconscious mind create, that would be better then having the most beautiful man he’d ever seen, sleeping comfortably in his arms?  _Nothing could ever be better then this_ , he told himself, as he finally drifted off to sleep.

He was awakened several hours later by a very hot mouth pressing a gentle kiss to his morning erection.  He looked down over the length of his body, and found the jounin kneeling over him, mouth hovering just above his silky skin.  He suppressed a groan when Kakashi’s head lowered, and a slippery tongue slid from hilt to tip.  “Naruto,” Kakashi called, in a voice that sounded too much like begging to be reality, but the warm breath that wafted against his most sensitive place, proved differently.

He nodded, and without pretense, he was pulled into a warm wet cavern.  He almost cried out in misery as Kakashi’s sinful mouth moved up his shaft, but as a nimble tongue slid around his length, then slipped into his opening, he decided he couldn’t care less.  Usually he wasn’t much for the subtle tricks of oral sex, but Kakashi was working him into oblivion, and it had only been two minutes.

Kakashi smiled with his eye, and sank back down, opening his throat, and taking him in half way.  There was a gentle vibration, against his tender flesh, and he groaned as his eyes rolled into the back of his head.  A pale hand slipped between his legs, and stroked the hyper sensitive skin there, as a glorious mouth moved up and down, alternating intense suction, and grazing teeth.

When Kakashi reached his tip once more, he lapped at the sensitive underside, a hand coming to rest at the base of his shaft holding him in place.  He watched fascinated as his head moved in and out of its moist harbor quickly, slowly falling deeper into the web of quenchless desire that Kakashi was weaving with his too talented mouth.  _I was completely wrong_.  “Oh… fuck…”  _He’s_ _definitely_ _experienced_ , he thought.  No one could be this naturally talented.  Which of course begged the question, who?  He’d never heard a thing, and…

Before he could dwell on it, he found himself arching into Kakashi’s mouth further, his thoughts sliding into the abyss, as he gave a low growl.  “Kashi,” he called, his hand sinking into silver locks, a moment before he realized that had most definitely been a plea.  He wasn’t the type to beg, but he was beginning to consider it, when his supplication was responded to with full force.  He was being teased in every way possible.  Nimble fingers stroked his skin, and then caressed his sac, only to scrape gentle nails over his too receptive flesh again. 

He couldn’t help his steel grip on the jounin’s hair as he was drawn in deeply one more time, but he wasn’t fully engulfed, and the mouth didn’t retreat either.  All he could feel were gentle hums vibrating against his shaft, and that added to too skilled fingers was almost too much, and yet it wasn’t nearly enough.  He was standing on the precipice, and for as much as he willed it so, he couldn’t fall over the edge.

His balls had never been tighter, and he felt like electricity was circulating under his skin.  Without thought, he slammed his hips up, while simultaneously pushing Kakashi’s head down.  When he heard a low groan, he almost felt bad, until he noticed what distinctly felt like a smirk around his shaft.  When he felt Kakashi’s throat constrict and relax against his tip several times he gave up all hope of bedroom decorum. 

He pushed himself in and out of that tormenting mouth several times, each time going deeper then before, until strong hands on his hips stilled him.  “Kakashi, I…”  He wanted to apologize, he’d lost control.  He’d wanted that hot mouth to take in his entire length, even though no one had ever been able to do it, he was particularly well endowed, but it didn’t stop him from trying just the same.  “Kashi…”

He never got the chance to apologize, because he looked down and found promises so tawdry in that lone eye that he was left utterly speechless.  And that’s when it happened, Kakashi’s head moved lower, taking him deeper, and before he knew it, his entire length was buried in Kakashi’s throat.  One swallow, the shock, and the feel of his length being massaged by tender muscles, was all too much.  He came with a low groan, his seed spilling into an eagerly waiting mouth.

He flopped back onto the pillows at the top of the bed, and smiled a lazy smile as Kakashi crawled over his body.  The shorter man nestled against his chest, his body on top of his lovers, silver locks coming to rest under his chin.  “You plan to wake me like that every morning?” he asked as he trailed tan fingers over porcelain skin.

“Every morning?” the jounin asked, with something in his voice that resembled shock.

“Unless you want this to be a one time thing,” he stated as calmly as he could.

“Is that what you want?” the jounin mumbled as he sat up, and moved himself to the other side of the bed, turning his back to his former student.

“What I want doesn’t really matter,” he said, as he turned Kakashi to face him, and searched mismatched eyes with his own.  He tried to settle his rampaging thoughts, his fear and desperation swirling into a cacophony that spoke of impending doom, the sound almost deafening as it thundered in his psyche.  He could never be without Kakashi again, not after this night, so he pleaded to whatever god might be listening.

“Naruto, I…”

He waited for something more, but it wasn’t to come, so he forced a clenched smile to his lips.  “Alright, I’ll go then,” he said tightly.  Without hesitation he moved around the room gathering his clothing.  He felt eyes wash over him as he slipped his pants over his hips, buttoned them, and slid the zipper into place.

“Kakashi, I…” he began as he turned around, but stopped when he took in the jounin’s face, and he frowned.  “Kakashi, what’s wrong?” he asked as he dropped the rest of his clothes, and slid onto the bed kneeling next to the other man.

“No, nothing.  Everything is fine.  If you’re going to go, then just… go already,” he said.

“Oh goddamn it, Kakashi.  Snap the hell out of it.  I just can’t figure you out,” he growled angrily.  “I don’t want to leave.  If I didn’t want to be here I never would have come over here last night, in the first place.  Don’t you get it?”

His temper flaring, he began grabbing the rest of his clothes, twitching and stomping around like the boy he’d been ten years ago.  “Naruto,” the jounin called, and he turned around.  “I want you to stay… forever.”  The last word was spoken so softly that he had to strain just to make it out clearly, even though they were only a few feet apart.  

The elation he felt required no words, so he unceremoniously dumped the rest of his clothing onto the floor, and jumped into the bed.  He pulled Kakashi to him roughly, wrapping the suddenly fragile man, in his arms.  “That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” he whispered into his loves ear.  “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”  When he felt soft breaths tickling his chest, he knew the jounin was asleep.

“Hey, shouldn’t we be getting out of bed?” he asked as he poked the jounin, “It’s almost three o’clock.”

“Go to sleep,” he replied, “I’ll wake you up later.”

He couldn’t help the smile that slipped into place, as he nestled his chin in soft silver locks, and thought about all the things that had just changed.

I could get addicted to this…

_End Flashback…_

\------------------------------------------------------------

He pushed the memories away with a frown.

Forever… Yeah… Right…

Eight months later he’d simply disappeared.  He had just packed a bag and left, without any warning.  He’d come home shortly after dawn to find his lover gone.  Assuming he’d gone to visit Obito as he did every morning, he’d thought nothing of it, and after waiting several hours, he left to run a few errands.  When he returned in the afternoon, he found their apartment still empty, so he’d cooked a nice dinner, and waited.  He’d had something incredibly important to discuss with his love, so he’d stayed awake the whole night, but Kakashi had never come home.  He’d told himself that he was probably on a mission of some kind, but a short conversation with Iruka at the missions office the next morning had dismissed that option instantly. 

The only other possibility was that Kakashi had gone back to Anbu.  They’d been discussing it for a few weeks, and he’d been vehemently against it.  It was expressly forbidden for members of Anbu and the Hokage to fraternize, but in the end, it would have been Kakashi’s decision.  The idea that Kakashi would make that kind of decision without him had hurt, but it didn’t diminish the love he felt for the other man.  So after six weeks he finally accepted that his love wasn’t coming back, believing that he’d gone back to Anbu.

It was a few months later, little more then a week away from his official coronation as the Sixth Hokage of Konoha, when he’d heard several Anbu discussing Kakashi outside Tsunade’s office.  They’d been searching for Kakashi for three months, and not because he’d been lost on assignment.  He was a missing-nin, and they’d been hunting him full force.  It was enough to tear the breath from his body.  Believing Kakashi had abandoned him to serve the village was one thing, but this was nearly enough to destroy him.  Shortly there after, he broke for the first time in his shinobi career, postponing his advancement. 

After that, he’d fallen into a personal hell like none he’d ever experienced.  At first he’d been confused, then depressed, but finally he’d become angry.  And that anger had ultimately propelled him to where he was on this day, in this bed, holding this man.  His anger had steeled his will, and forced him to crawl his ass out of their former bed, and into the Hokage’s chambers.  He took his new title the very next day, and from that day on, he’d devoted his minuscule personal hours to the capture of one Hatake, Kakashi.  The infamous Copy Ninja, and S-Class missing-nin. 

The man who’d broken his heart…    

\------------------------------------------------------------

When Kakashi woke again, he tried to feel another presence around him, but there was none.  He was alone.  The idea that he’d been left unguarded didn’t sit right with him, so he turned his head from the wall, to try to look around as much as he could, and found, to his dismay, that Naruto had left him unaccompanied.  It was a relief, to be free of accusing eyes, and yet he couldn’t help but feel immensely sad.  For so many months he’d longed to be in the same place as Naruto, and now that he was, it was heartbreaking to wake up to the same emptiness that had haunted him since the day he’d left Konoha.

He’d thought about going back a million times, and had made it half way there almost once a month since that fateful day, but he’d never been able to convince himself to complete the journey.  What was the point?  There was nothing, and no one, waiting for him there.  And the gut wrenching pain he endured was just the price he’d ultimately known he’d have to pay one day.  He’d allowed himself to feel Naruto’s light, his embrace, and supposedly, his love.  Now he had no choice but to suffer the consequences.

The morning after their first night together, when Naruto had told him that he’d never wanted anything other then to be with him, his heart had sung, but deep inside he’d known the truth.  He’d been a replacement, and a thread-bare one at that, but after sharing his bed with Naruto, letting him go just didn’t seem possible.  So instead he let himself fall further and further into the illusion.

For a while, everything was perfect.  They’d make love in the shower every morning then enjoy breakfast on his sundeck together.  Then they’d go their separate ways for the rest of the day.  They had dinner together every night they could, and would talk while they ignored the movie they were watching.  But it wasn’t these moments, while they held a special place in his heart that haunted him.  It was the nights of blistering intensity.  The fire between them raged nearly out of control, he’d never known anything like it.  When they moved in together, it was bliss, and for a while there, he almost started to believe it when Naruto said ‘I love you’.

But always in the back of his mind, he would remind himself, that it wasn’t true.  It would have been too much to allow himself to truly believe it, only to have it stolen from him later.  Men like him, were never blessed with that kind of happiness.  But even though he couldn’t bring himself to believe it, he never gave away his doubts, because he was afraid that if he did, it would bring his fantasy to an end that much sooner.  So he would simply smile, hug his love, and take his lips in a reverent kiss, and say, ‘I love you too’.  What else could he do?

_Not that it mattered_ , he thought.  He’d hidden away his fears, to protect the dream he’d been living in, thinking that if he told the boy how he truly felt, it would have ended in an instant.  But it had ended in an instant anyway.  The months they’d spent together dwarfed and reduced to ashes by one day.

_Flashback:  Sixteen months ago…_

\------------------------------------------------------------

When Kakashi woke, he was pressed against a solid chest, just as he was every morning, but on this day it brought him no comfort.  Something was terribly wrong.  He just knew it.  It reached down into his bones, and for a reason he couldn’t name, he felt like he was suffocating.  He needed air, badly, so he wiggled out from under his lovers arm, and slinked into the bathroom to change.  As he dressed he thanked, and not for the first time, whatever entity it was that so rarely smiled down upon him from up above, that Naruto slept like the dead.

He’d had this feeling swarming around in him for days, but it was far more then the doubt he’d felt since the beginning.  This feeling was something other then doubt.  It was far beyond guilt, and complete and absolute misery was no comparison.  No, this feeling had no name.  It was as if he could foresee the end of times, the end of days, coming.  If you could imagine how it felt to know with every part of your being that the world was going to end, then just maybe you could understand his pain.

After pulling up his mask he slipped into the bedroom, ruffled golden locks, and with a sad smile, moved out the window.  He’d been putting off a visit to Obito for a few days, which was unlike him, but whenever he was at the memorial, everything was always pulled into perfect perspective, and he’d been afraid of what he’d find.  Afraid that Obito would show him what he dreaded most.  But he was a grown man, and he knew that the truth wasn’t always pleasant, so he gave in, and went to speak with his friend.

_I think it’s over, Obito.  I don’t know why, but I have a feeling.  I just… somehow I… I just know it_ , Kakashi thought as he ran his fingers over his friend’s name.  _There’s something about today.  It carries a strong burden.  I can feel it.  I just can’t figure out why.  I’m sorry, my friend.  I don’t mean to be so cryptic, but you’re the only one who would be willing to listen._   Kakashi rubbed his head and frowned.  _I can’t hide out here all day._   With a light wave, he turned his back to the stone, and poofed himself home.

When he arrived Naruto was in the kitchen, his bowl of cereal sitting before him, all but forgotten, his eyes far away.  He watched a bead of water drip from the blonde’s bangs, down his cheek, and onto his chest, but Naruto didn’t seem to notice.  He was in another world, oblivious to his lover’s presence.   

Kakashi ran a hand down his love’s cheek, and when the boy started, he smiled with his visible eye.  “Are you alright?” he asked caringly.

“No,” Naruto said softly, his voice a rough whisper.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, even though he was sure he knew what was coming.

“Today is just…” Naruto ran his hand over the scar on his chest that had been left behind by Sasuke’s Chidori. “…a very shitty day for me.  It always is.”

Kakashi was thrown off by his answer, and took a moment to respond.  “Why?”

“Ten,” Naruto replied vaguely, and Kakashi sighed.  _What the hell is he talking about?_   “Can you believe it?”  _He’s not making any sense_ , Kakashi thought as he took in Naruto’s hunched form.

“Naruto, I’m not sure I understand,” he said as he turned the blonde’s head, so their eyes could meet.  He was surprised to find tears glistening in his eyes.  When he’d been young he rarely cried, despite the torment that he’d been put through because of what he was, so the fact that the boy was nearly in tears only made him, his heart, and his soul, even more wary.  “What’s wrong?”

“Sasuke,” was the blonde’s reply, and Kakashi felt ice pump through his veins.  “It’s been ten years since he left,” Naruto whispered.  “Well as of today, anyway,” he clarified. 

After saying goodbye to Naruto very early in the morning, he sequestered himself away to think.  There was far too much going on and he couldn’t bear to deal with people.  He focused his chakra, and threw a jutsu up over the whole apartment, to block out everything and everyone.  He didn’t want to be disturbed.  God forbid Gai decided to drop in with one of his stupid challenges, or just to be irritating in that special way that was his, and his alone.

As the afternoon flowed into mid-evening Naruto still hadn’t returned home, but he made dinner anyway.  He waited a few hours, but the blonde didn’t show up, so he ate alone, the TV playing a movie he paid no attention to in the background, and providing him with what little light he needed to function.  When he was finished, he stored the leftovers, and washed the dishes.  Once everything was in its proper place, he turned off the TV, and sat in the darkness to wait.  It wasn’t like Naruto to be this late, and he couldn’t help but worry.     

As the clock hit midnight, he decided to go look for his lover.  His worry was getting the better of him, and there was no way he would be able to sleep, without knowing where Naruto had disappeared to.  So really, there was nothing else he could do.  Even though he wished there was another way.  He had no choice. 

As he made his way through Konoha, something major was up.  He could feel it in the air, the tension was physically palpable as he wove through the streets looking for his love.  Everywhere he went he could feel eyes watching him, and it left a chill on his skin.  When he came across a familiar face, he stopped.  “Sakura, have you seen Naruto?” he asked his former student.  His question would come as no surprise.  Their relationship had been well advertised over the last few months.

She looked at him wearily, and frowned.  “Have you been under a rock?”

“Sakura,” he said with a slight growl in his voice.  He was in no mood for her antics today.

“He’s been with Sasuke and the Hokage all day.  Haven’t you heard?” she asked, and Kakashi could feel his heart stop in his chest.  It didn’t make any sense.  Why on earth would Sasuke be here, in Konoha, and with the Hokage no less.  “Man, Kakashi, you really should get out more,” she chided.

When he didn’t say anything, because he was simply too stupefied to speak, she continued on, filling the silence, as that had always been her way.  “Sasuke has been on a mission all this time.  He got back late last night.  Can you believe it?  And all this time we thought he was a traitor.  But I guess I always knew he couldn’t really betray the village.  I don’t really know what his mission was supposed to be, but I guess it’s done, cause he’s back for good.  And he’s being promoted to S-class, or at least that’s what everyone’s been saying.  Can you believe it?  He’s really back and…”

Kakashi left her behind, using a teleportation jutsu to take him to the Hokage’s office.  When he glanced inside the lights were out, and he couldn’t sense Naruto’s unique chakra signature anywhere in the building.  _Where the hell are you?_ , he thought as he made his way to the roof.  This didn’t bode well, and he could feel dread pouring out of his heart, tendrils reaching down into his stomach, and settling there.  His heart began to race, and he tried to calm himself.  _You can’t panic now, Kakashi_ , he told himself.  _You’re never going to find him if you start freaking out.  Just calm down and concentrate._    

He took a few deep breaths, and a jutsu he’d copied from someone a very long time ago, during his ANBU days, popped into his head, and he smiled.  He took a deep breath, and made a few seals.  Without hesitation, his body was propelled forward, as if he was a puppet, under another’s control, and he allowed the jutsu to lead him.  It was a jutsu known only to hunter-nin, it could lead you to any target whose chakra signature was ingrained in your memory.  It was perfect for hunting missing-nin. 

When the invisible strings finally left him, he found himself outside a seedy bar, somewhere on the far side of town.  _Naruto wouldn’t be caught dead in a dive like this_.  _Then again_ , he thought, _maybe this place is better suited to Sasuke’s tastes._   He couldn’t help the bitterness he felt, but that was to be expected, given his current situation.  He squared his shoulders, and made his way inside.  

To his surprise, the bar was packed with high ranked shinobi, and they were gathered in a large circle around a single table.  He couldn’t actually see Naruto, which was unusual, given his height, but he could feel him.  He made his way into a dark corner, and watched the crowd.  There in the center, he found his lover, listening attentively, obviously enraptured, just like all the others, to what he assumed was a story, being told by someone he couldn’t see.  That someone he knew just had to be Sasuke.

He watched them for about an hour, and just when he had become irritated enough at going unnoticed by his drunk lover for so long, and was about to retrieve him, he finally got a look at Sasuke, after all this time.  He was a few inches shorter then his lover, but taller then him, his hair falling in raven waves to his shoulders, and his pale skin was flushed with inebriation. 

His body was displayed to perfection by the uniform he wore.  The pants seemed impossibly tight, and his shirt was cinched at the waist by a belt leaving most of the shirt open in the front to prying eyes, and what a view it was.  The boy was trimmed and toned in a way that guaranteed endurance.  Lean and long limbed, but strong.  He looked to his face and was surprised to find that the boy was actually smiling, a light burning in his once frigid obsidian eyes, and Kakashi couldn’t deny it.  Sasuke was just as beautiful as his lover, almost more so.

In his shock, he watched Naruto and Sasuke walk out of the bar, the brunette helping his intoxicated friend with a seemingly gentle hand.  After several minutes he finally decided to follow them.  He didn’t want to follow too closely lest he be caught, but he was curious.  He gracefully moved through the crowd remaining unnoticed by the people around him, as he made his way out the door, letting it slip closed behind him.

He looked to his left and right, but couldn’t see either of his former students, he could , however, feel the remnants of his earlier jutsu’s effects, and it called him north, so he headed in that direction.  He followed the infinitesimal threads in his mind as they lead him to what appeared to be a very small side street, several miles from the bar where his search had ended, and conveniently, began again.

He peered into the night, but he couldn’t make out anything in the nearly impenetrable wall of shadow.  His eyes could give him no proof, but the tendrils running through his body told him that his love was there, so he had to believe.  Without hesitation, he lifted his hitae-ate, and allowed his sharingan to peer into the darkness, for it could see without light.

What he saw stole the strength from his body.  Never before had he felt so betrayed, or so stupid.  There hidden in the darkness was his lover, he was on his knees, Sasuke’s cock buried deep in his throat.  He felt torn, he couldn’t stand to watch, yet he couldn’t look away.  He watched the man he loved with every part of his being, and it broke him.

“How could I have been so stupid?” Kakashi growled, his hand landing on the memorial stone as the darkness pushed in around him even further.  It was as if the night itself was seeping in through his very skin, and leaking into his heart and soul, filling him with emptiness.  _I knew from the beginning, but I…_

_Pull yourself together, Kakashi.  Get a fucking grip_ , he thought as he took note of the tremors flowing through his hands, and his knees began to buckle.  The fury roiling within him was so out of character, it was almost terrifying.  This was a person he couldn’t recognize.  _I need to get the hell out of here_ , he thought wildly.  He felt weak, lost, and confused, more so, he felt foolish. 

Only a fool would have knowingly fallen in love with a man he knew in his heart was irreparably in love with someone else.  At least that’s what he believed in his heart, and it only made the cyclone of emotions he was feeling, swirl even more quickly.  _I’m sorry, Obito.  I’m abandoning you again.  But you are always in my thoughts, and forever in my heart_ , he thought as he left the monument, chakra guiding his heels. 

He needed to clear his head.  He needed time, space, and silence.  Screw his duties, his apartment, and his village.  How could he stay in a place where he was expected to put his life on the line for a man he couldn’t trust?  A man who was nothing more then a liar and a fraud…  How could he accept orders from a man who’d torn out his heart, and left nothing behind but turmoil?      

_End Flashback…_

\------------------------------------------------------------

As the memory faded he heard a key in the lock, and Naruto moved into the room.  The memory of that night pulsed through him, and with it, the hurt.  The rage in his eyes seemed to shock the blonde because he closed the door, and leaned against it, several deep breaths moving in and out of his lungs quickly.  Kakashi was seething, and his body wouldn’t respond to his will.  That made it all even worse.  Here was the man who’d ripped out his heart, and yet Naruto was angry with him. 

Cobalt eyes washed over him, and for the first time ever, it made him shudder in disgust.  This man was a swindler, and what made him even more despicable, he used others emotions to gain his own ends.  The very thought made him nauseous.  Whoever this man was, it wasn’t the man he had fallen in love with.  The man he loved would never take what someone couldn’t afford to give.  Kakashi had been so terrified of letting his heart go, and Naruto, in his own way, had known it.  He refused to believe that this man, who had treated him like a Kleenex, to be used and discarded, was the same person as the boy he had fallen in love with.

The Naruto he loved, would never have said ‘I love you’, when he didn’t mean it, and he couldn’t bare to look upon this travesty before him.  He clenched his eyes shut against the agony welling up inside of him, and turned his head back to the wall.  He had all the proof he needed.  The one thing the man beneath the shinobi had ever craved, would never be his.  Naruto belonged to another, and he was nothing more then an aging ninja with a fruitless dream.

There was nothing left now.  Everything within him withered and crumpled into dust.  He would face whatever punishment his former village would rain down upon his body.  _What does it matter?_ , he thought.  He knew his soul was already dead.

\------------------------------------------------------------

“Kakashi,” Naruto called quietly, “are you…”

“Don’t.  Just don’t,” he growled.  “I don’t need you to pretend you care anymore.  Those days are long gone.  Just let them sentence me to death, and be done with it.  End my misery.”  

Naruto fell further into the door, as if he had been slapped.  He could do nothing but stand there flabbergasted.  How could he possibly be expected to respond to that?  _End your misery?  What about my misery you deserting bastard_ , he thought to himself, but one look at the silver-haired jounin was enough to stop him from spouting off in his typical fashion.

It was only in this moment that Naruto began to question everything he thought he knew over the last sixteen months.  Kakashi had been an endlessly loyal shinobi.  Something terrible had to have happened to make him leave.  With that notion some of the anguish, that he kept so deeply hidden, began to evaporate.

“Kakashi,” Naruto said as he moved across the room.  It was heart-breaking to watch the pale form, even though bound by a jutsu, visibly tense at the sound of his voice.  “I need to change the bandages on your wound,” he explained as he gathered the supplies from the dresser, and moved towards the bed.  “I know you don’t want me to touch you, but I have to.  If I don’t, your wound will get infected.”

‘So’, was the only reply he received, and his hands began to shake.  This was not the man he’d known.  This was a broken version of a once proud ninja, whose very name had commanded fear and, at one time, great respect.  This was someone who was utterly defeated, who held no hope.  Kakashi was by far thee strongest man he’d ever know, what could have possibly happened to break him so completely?  To shatter him from the inside out?

He watched Kakashi holding his breath, and as his hands finally touched against cool flesh, he heard a low growl emanating from the other man.  “Kakashi, I have to…”

“No, you don’t.  Get the fuck away from me.”

“But…”

“I said NO!” he snarled viscously.

“Let me help you, please,” he pleaded.

“I don’t want your fucking help,” he snapped, and Naruto stood from the bed and moved across the room to sit on the small couch, as silence poured in around them.

_Flashback:  Sixteen months ago…_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well before dawn, Naruto rolled over in bed, nuzzling even closer to his lover, and strong arms folded around him, helping to soothe his quaking stomach and aching head.  _I must’ve drank way too much last night, but I’ve had worse…_  He felt a soft kiss against his golden locks and smiled, “Mornin’ Kashi,” he mumbled sleepily, leaving a tender kiss on pale skin.

When he felt the body that held him stiffen, he frowned.  “What did you just call me?” a voice he could barely recognize asked, and he froze.  His eyes moved up slowly and, had he been standing, he would have fallen over in shock.  _Oh my god!!_

“Sas… Sasuke?” he whispered in shock.

“Who did you think I was?” Sasuke asked testily, his eyebrow raised.

“Ummm…” Naruto was at a loss.  Complete and total bewilderment.  _Oh fuck… What do I say?  What do I do?  Fucking shit… How the hell did this happen?_ “Sasuke,” Naruto said as calmly as possible, as he pushed himself out of Sasuke’s arms, “I have to leave.  I shouldn’t be here,” he finished, and then dashed out of the bed trying to get dressed as quickly as possible.

As gracefully as ever, Sasuke moved off the bed, and began moving closer to him.  “Why shouldn’t you be here, Naruto?  This is where you belong,” Sasuke said casually as if it was the natural order of things.

“No it’s not.  I have to go,” Naruto replied softly.  He was on the verge of tears.  He’d done something terrible, something that he could never take back.  _What am I going to tell Kakashi?_

Sasuke moved around the bed, his movements fluid, like a panther on the prowl, his onyx locks falling around his shoulders, and Naruto couldn’t deny, he was beautiful.  “Yes it is,” Sasuke said as he backed Naruto closer and closer to the corner of the room, his steps slow and full of purpose.  He knew exactly what he was doing, and Naruto knew it too, even as his feet moved of their own accord. 

“This is where you have always belonged,” Sasuke whispered softly, as Naruto bumped into the wall behind him.  A pale hand reached out and caressed his lined cheeks.  “You belong with me… in my arms…”  Two hands gripped his hips and pulled him flush to Sasuke’s chest “…in my bed…” Sasuke mumbled as his lips met Naruto’s skin between neck and shoulder.

Two tender lips found his own, as questing hands roamed from his hips to his backside then up to his lower back, gentle fingers caressing his skin.  A slippery tongue played across his lower lip, and they opened of their own volition.  _No, No, No, No… this is wrong… it feels wrong… I don’t belong here… I don’t want this_ , he thought, but despite his realization, he couldn’t stop himself.

He responded to the kiss full force, his hands moving over pale skin possessively.  “Now that’s more like it,” Sasuke growled, and pressed him into the wall further.  Lips moved over his skin, and stopped to nip at the pulse thumping underneath his overheated skin.  When he let out a shaky breath in response, Sasuke bit a little harder, and he let out a groan.

Naruto was falling farther and farther into the spell being weaved around him, and although he felt the pleasure, he also felt disconnected.  He felt as if his soul was detached from his body, lost amongst things he couldn’t begin to fathom.  In this moment, he was losing something, he knew it, he could feel it being torn out of him, but he didn’t know what it was.

“Naruto,” Sasuke mumbled as his tongue slid across the tip of his dobe’s ear.

“Y-yes,” he replied breathlessly.

“Who’s ‘Kashi’?  Hmmm?” Sasuke asked, and teeth took Naruto’s ear roughly for emphasis.

_Kashi?_ , Naruto’s lust fogged mind thought slowly.  _Kashi?_ “I don’t…”  _Oh my god… Kakashi!!_   In that moment, his blood ran cold, spikes of guilt and remorse stabbing into his heart.  “Stop, Sasuke,” Naruto said strongly, having finally recovered his voice. 

“Why?”

“Because I told you to,” Naruto replied, but his request went unanswered.  When Sasuke continued to run lips over his skin, he pushed roughly at his shoulders and sent the shorter man sprawling onto the bed.

“What the fuck, Naruto?” Sasuke growled, standing up quickly.

“I have to go,” Naruto said with finality, and stormed for the door.  When a slender hand caught his wrist with deceptive strength, he growled under his breath.  “I have to GO!” he said as he tried to shake the hand off.

“Where are you going?” Sasuke said.

“I’m going home.”

“You are home,” Sasuke replied, his grip on Naruto’s wrist tightening almost painfully.

“No, it’s not.  This was a mistake.  A huge fucking mistake.  I have to go!” he said, and tried to move out the door, but Sasuke wouldn’t loosen his steel grip.  If it was possible, it seemed to get even stronger.  “Let me go, Sasuke.”

“I will not.  I want to know who this Kashi per… Oh my god!  Kakashi?  Is that who you… You can’t be serious?” he said, and Naruto bristled.

“It’s very serious, as a matter of fact,” Naruto replied proudly, a soft light playing in his eyes.  A light Sasuke didn’t seem to appreciate, because his eyes went cold for a few moments, then warmed again.

“Naruto,” he whispered, “you belong here with me.  You always have, and now that I’m back, what we’ve always wanted can be ours.  I’m never going to leave you again.  I promise.”

Naruto’s heart warmed at his words.  They were sweet as can be, but this man no longer held his heart.  “It’s very nice of you to say that, Sasuke, but I’m not in love with you anymore.  It’s been too long.  My heart belongs to Kakashi now.  I’m sorry,” he said gently.  “I really do have to go.  Please let go of my arm.”

The Uchiha didn’t respond, and his grip didn’t relax.  “Sasuke,” he asked when he received no response.  “Sasuke,” he tried again, and obsidian eyes snapped up to meet his own, they were furious.

“Too long?  Too long?  I’ve been in hell for ten fucking years, and the one thing that kept me going was you, and the idea of what it would be like when I finally made it back to you.  Now I’m here, and you’re telling me it’s too late,” he growled his voice escalating.  “No, it’s never too late.  You belong to me, regardless of the men who’ve warmed your bed in my absence.  You are mine!”

Naruto’s voice was loud and clear in response.  “I am not a possession.  I am not a thing to be owned.  I belong to Kakashi, just as much as he belongs to me.  We belong to each other.  It’s about give and take.  I have to leave.  Let me go.”  He twisted his arm trying to pull it from Sasuke’s grip, but it was to no avail.

“Naruto,” Sasuke said as his hand left the blonde’s wrist, “I won’t give up.  You have to know that.”

Without another word, Naruto ran from the room, down the hall, down the stairs, out the front door, and out of the Uchiha compound.  Fleeing for home as quickly as he could.

When he crashed through the front door, he was almost frantic, “Kakashi?” he called as he ran through their apartment.  He found their bed had the covers pulled back, but they remained undisturbed beyond that.  “Kakashi?” he called again, only louder this time.

He made his way onto the sundeck, hoping perhaps his lover was eating breakfast, but he wasn’t there.  “Where the hell is he?” Naruto asked himself, as he made his way inside, and plopped down onto the couch.  When he tossed his arm over his eyes, his nose crinkled.  _I smell like Sasuke… and sex…_

He was so disgusted that he ran to the bathroom, and took a very long scalding hot shower.

When he finished his shower, he spent the rest of the morning pacing, and arguing with himself.  He agonized over the right and or wrong words to say, but was there really such a thing as the right words in a moment like this?  How do you pick a few measly words, when explaining something terrible to the man you love. Something that could very well destroy everything you’ve built together.

There was no such thing as the right words.  There was nothing he could say that would make it hurt less, and there was nothing he could do to make it better.  Even if Kakashi forgave him, it would haunt them for the rest of their lives.  This was something that would never disappear.  It would always be there in the back of Kakashi’s mind, hovering, waiting to be called upon at a moments notice.

_If he forgives me for this, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to him.  I will never fuck up again.  I can’t fuck up again_ , he thought, with a shake of his head.  _How do I tell him what happened_ , he asked himself.  He knew he couldn’t tell his lover, without causing a great deal of hurt, but maybe, just maybe, he could soften the blow, so he left to run a few errands.  There were quite a few things he was going to need.

When he returned home, the apartment was still empty, so he spent the rest of the afternoon cooking and waiting for his lover to return.  He cooked every single one of Kakashi’s favorite foods, including his favorite deserts, set a gorgeous table, and cleaned the apartment, just the way his meticulous lover liked it.  Although, in truth, it was more to keep himself busy than in the belief that it would make any difference.  In his heart he truly knew that nothing could ease the pain he was about to cause his love.

When he had finally finished, he took another shower, and dressed in what he knew to be Kakashi’s most favorite ensemble.  When he finished getting dressed, he sat down on the couch, and waited.  He waited all night, but Kakashi never came home.

By eleven, he still hadn’t returned, and that’s when he really began to worry.  _Where the hell are you_ , he thought as he dried himself off after yet another shower.  No matter what he did, he could still smell Sasuke on his skin, and he began to fear that the scent might never go away.  That it would burden him forever, a constant reminder of his betrayal.

After a few days he began to wonder if maybe he wasn’t coming back.  Every night, he would lay in their bed, the unique woodsy scent Kakashi left behind, invading his senses, and silently cry himself to sleep.  He wasn’t on a mission, and no one had seen him around the village.  Kakashi had simply vanished, and in the weeks of misery that followed his departure, Sasuke did in fact, refuse to give up. 

At first he would be cordial and polite whenever they ran into each other, but he wanted, and needed, space from the very thing that caused the guilt that was eating him alive each and every day.  So he began to avoid Sasuke at every turn.  Yet, it seemed no matter where he went, Sasuke was always there too.  Konoha was a small village, but they ran into each other far too often for it to be mere coincidence.  He’d been in a daze since Kakashi left, and hadn’t been alert to his surroundings, but that would change.

When he started paying closer attention to the things taking place around him, he realized that everywhere he went he could feel eyes upon him, sometimes even when he slept.  But it didn’t feel the way it had felt when it had been Kakashi’s eyes.  This feeling always made him shudder, and not in a positive way.  It felt unnatural and possessive.  Were it not for his confidence in his strength and abilities, it would have been frightening.  He’d often joked about Kakashi, and claimed that he had been a stalker, but now that he had a real stalker, the differences were so vivid, he could practically taste them.

Thankfully, Sasuke seemed to understand that he needed space, and really just wanted to be left alone, because he finally stopped approaching Naruto when they ran into each other ‘accidentally’.  After that Naruto fell into a simple routine.  Wake, dress, breakfast, training with Tsunade, lunch, missions office representative with Iruka in the afternoons, home, shower, dinner, watch TV, well actually, ignore TV, think instead, sleep, repeat…  His life went on in that manner for a few more weeks, and finally, he accepted that Kakashi wasn’t ever coming back. 

_He had to have gone back to ANBU but… why would he do that without telling me?  I know he’s been craving more action lately, and really didn’t want to take on another genin team, but to just go back without saying anything?_   Naruto sighed.  _He probably thought it would be easier for me this way._   He debated for a few more minutes, and decided it was time to move on.  He didn’t want to disappoint Kakashi.  He could be strong too, because if the separation was this hard for him, it had to be just as bad for Kakashi.  A few minutes later, his eyes closed, and he fell into the deepest sleep he’d been able to manage in weeks.  The next morning he went to the missions room, and accepted his first mission in six weeks. 

For a time, everything started to feel as if it was going back to normal, empty, but normal none the less.  That is until he came home from a week long mission, and had immediately known something was off.  Someone had been in his apartment while he was gone, but who?  He prayed it had been Kakashi, but couldn’t find any evidence of that.  As a matter of fact, he couldn’t find any evidence that he’d had a visitor at all, but he knew.  He had no idea how he knew, but he knew.

After searching top to bottom, he kicked off his sandals, tossed his jounin vest, and pulled off his shirt as he moved down the hallway.  All he needed was a long nap, after that, a hot shower, and he’d be ready to go.  He looked at the calendar in the bedroom, and frowned.  Kakashi had already been gone almost three months.  Naruto wondered for the fiftieth time that week, if he was cursed.  He had longed for his best friend to return, and when he had, he was completely different.  Then the love of his life had disappeared, on almost the exact day of Sasuke’s return.  Could he never simply have his cake and eat it too?  

With a growl, he pulled on a fresh shirt, pulled off his muddy pants, in favor of his boxers, tossed himself into bed, and curled up under the blankets.  When he did, his heart stopped.  His sheets, which had most likely been the one thing keeping him sane, no longer smelled like Kakashi.  They had been washed and ironed, and smelled different.  They smelled crisp and sterile, and he could never forget that scent.  It was Sasuke’s scent.  It was unmistakable.  He shot up in bed, and found a very pleased Uchiha standing at the foot of his bed.

“What the hell are you doing here, Sasuke?” he growled.  He was in no mood.

“I’m tired of the little games you’ve been playing.  I’ve chased and hunted you like you wanted me to, but I’m bored now.  I want my prize.”

“What game, what prize?  What the hell are you talking about?” Naruto asked, obviously baffled, as he climbed off the bed, to look the shorter man in the eye.

“You’ve been playing hard to get for weeks now, and I’ve had enough!”

“I wasn’t playing hard to get, Sasuke.  I already told you, I don’t want you anymore.  I only want Kakashi.  There will never be anyone else.  Can’t you understand that?” he asked as his anger rose, pumping hot and hard through his veins.

“You belong to me!” Sasuke barked.  

“I think you should leave,” Naruto snarled in response.

“Never!”

“Sasuke,” Naruto said calmly, but with all the authority he could muster, “I want you to leave.  This is mine and Kakashi’s home, and until you can respect what I want, you aren’t welcome here.  Now please go.”

In a moments notice, he found himself thrown roughly against the wall, his head slamming painfully on the door frame.  Lips pressed against his briefly, and then teeth tore into the skin of his neck, little droplets of blood rolling down his chest.  His head throbbed, and he simply stood there dazed, as lips moved down his clothed chest.  When viscous teeth bit down on one of his nipples through his shirt violently, he lost any and all self control.  He grabbed Sasuke by the throat, and with a well placed kick to the gut, launched him all the way across the room, his body slamming into the dresser, leaving nothing but rubble.

“Get the hell out of here, Uchiha, and don’t come back!” he screamed in fury, as Sasuke pushed to his feet.

“Naruto, you belong to me, and if I can’t have you, no one will.  Understand that,” he replied bitterly, and slipped out the window.   

_End Flashback…_

\------------------------------------------------------------

The memory left a bitter taste in his mouth.  Sasuke had become a very frightening individual.  There was something within him that was twisted now, and regrettably, his obsession hadn’t waned since then.  This boy had once been his best friend, and now, he was ashamed to say, he just wanted to be rid of him.  It was very unfortunate that Sasuke hadn’t escaped from all his time with Orochimaru unscathed.  A darkness had rooted itself deep inside, and Naruto wished he could help, but he didn’t know how. 

He was very surprised when the jounin turned to face him and broke the wall of silence, all the anger gone from his voice, cool acceptance taking its place, but Naruto could still feel his resentment, and something else he couldn’t name, bubbling just beneath the surface. 

“I have no idea why you’re even bothering to heal me.  When you take me back to Konoha they’re just going to kill me.  So stop wasting your time, and mine.  Go back to Konoha, and everything else you love.  Let’s just get it over with.”  With a sigh he added, “I’m tired of running.”

“Kakashi, everything I love…” but he didn’t bother to finish, the jounin was already facing the wall again.   

\------------------------------------------------------------

Kakashi laid there silently as time passed.  From what he could tell Naruto hadn’t moved a single muscle in what he assumed had been two or three hours.  Not a sigh or throat clearing, not one readjustment, which was a miracle in and of itself.  Naruto had a tendency to fidget, his superfluous energy always getting the better of him.  Never before had the blonde ever been this still, not even in sleep.

He turned his head, and found two cerulean orbs watching him intently.  When they made eye contact they never strayed, and he realized for the first time in almost a year and a half, that he wasn’t angry anymore, and probably never had been.  Bitterness was easier, and it hurt less.  What he’d been trying to deny was the infinite hurt he felt, and his outrage at his own idiocy, so he’d tried to bury it away.  This revelation must have shown on his face, because Naruto smiled tentatively at him in response, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I uh… can’t feel my side, so I have no idea how… bad the wound is,” he whispered.

“Do you want me to…” Naruto whispered back.

He did nothing but nod, and couldn’t help but feel his heart soar, when he was rewarded with a genuine smile.  Hands worked over his skin quickly, with expert precision.  The boy had to have received some sort of medical training from Tsunade.  Naruto finished in less then half the time of the evening before, and he found that odd.  Had Naruto been stalling last night on purpose?

No sooner had the thought popped into his mind that he realized that that was exactly what had happened.  He couldn’t help the small chuckle that fell from his lips.  _Tricky bastard_ , he thought as the chuckle turned into a full on fit of laughter.  When he caught Naruto’s eyes from across the room, as he returned everything to a bag on the dresser, and saw the look of puzzlement on his face, he laughed so hard he began to cry.

_All that just to make me talk_ , he thought.  He had to give the boy credit, it had worked famously.  The move was one he’d used on Naruto several times, with great success, in his very petulant childhood.  It was such a ridiculous turn of events that he just kept laughing.  When a hand fell to his forehead to check to see if he was feverish and delirious, and azure eyes gazed at him with worry, he laughed so hard he couldn’t breathe.

“Kakashi!  Are you…”

“N-Naruto… I’m… fine…” he replied between wheezing breaths.

“You don’t sound fine.  You sound like you’ve lost your mind.”

“No… really…” he gasped “I’m… fine…”

“Well then,” Naruto replied testily, “What may I ask is so funny?”

“You…” he replied.

“I’m glad that my concern is so amusing to you,” he said in return.  “Next time I’ll be sure not to care, and let your wounds fester and get infected, so that you die!” he said angrily and plopped onto the couch with a pout.

“No, it’s not that,” he said as he tried to cap his laughter.  “It’s just that… yesterday… you used the same move on me… that I always used to… use on you… when you were… just a genin.”  When Naruto starred at him with cool irritation, he continued on.  “And it’s just so funny because…”

“I really don’t find it all that amusing.”

“You don’t think a full grown man who’s almost forty acting like a petulant twelve year old boy is funny?” he asked as he continued to laugh.

He saw the look on Naruto’s face, and knew his point had finally hit home, because the boy was shaking his head with a small smile.  He’d been acting like a spoiled brat, and at his age, not only should he have known better, but he should have been well beyond that point.  Apparently, sulking was something he did very well.  If it wasn’t so damn funny, he might have been really embarrassed.  Especially when the image of a stern and serious Naruto leaning over him, shaking his finger, and him sitting there pouting like a child, his arms crossed over his chest, passed through his mind.  But at the moment, it didn’t really matter how mortifying it was, because he was too busy laughing to care.

When his laughter finally stopped, he looked at Naruto, and the blonde smiled.  “I wasn’t that bad,” he said in a low growl that came out more like a groan, as pink spread across his cheeks.

“Oh really?” he asked as he raised an eyebrow.

“You were always the stubborn one, Kakashi,” Naruto muttered under his breath, but his smile never wavered.

He decided to let it drop there, just happy to see a little bit of the light returning to Naruto’s eyes.  If the man he loved wasn’t gazing at him with nothing but hurt in those boundless pools, not much else mattered.  If the days they spent in this room together, were all he had left with the blonde, then he would do everything in his power to make them as pleasant as he could.

“Kakashi,” the blonde called a few moments later, and he found pensive eyes starring at him with something akin to emptiness, and he frowned.  He didn’t want any sadness in this place, particularly if that grief was even marginally his fault, he couldn’t bear it.  When nimble fingers began to make seals, he couldn’t help but to fear the results of whatever he was doing, and his eyes clenched shut.

As he heard rain begin to patter against the windowsill, he could have sworn he heard Naruto whisper the word ‘go’.  He opened his eyes, and starred at him with confusion.  “What?” he asked.

“I’ve released you from the jutsu.”

“I don’t understand,” he said, as he tested his limbs, and found that they responded to his will, though the pain that travelled through his body was enough to catch his breath.

“I want you to go.  I’m not taking you back to Konoha,” Naruto replied in a whisper.

“But Naruto, I’m ready to face my…” he began, but the blonde cut him off.

“No!  I want you to go,” he said as he stood, and moved across the room to the dresser.  When Kakashi stood as well, the pain in his side threatened to knock him back down.  “Take this with you,” he said, shoving the black bag of medical supplies into Kakashi’s hands, and then turned his back on him, showing that he didn’t see him as a threat.

“Naruto…” he said softly, as he placed a hand on his former lovers shoulder.  When his hand was swatted away, he took several apprehensive steps backwards.

“I told you to go, so go!” Naruto said shakily.

“But… my wound,” he began; the pain in his side was throbbing, and left him dizzy.

“Will be fine.  You can take care of yourself.”

When he took a few tentative steps again, he wobbled on his feet.  “I don’t think that I’m…”

Before he could finish the blonde whirled around on him with a scowl, his voice full of fury.  “Get the hell out of here, Hatake.  NOW!”

He didn’t need to be told twice.  He pushed himself out the window as carefully as possible, and moved into the downpour.  With one last glance at the only person he’d ever truly loved, he launched himself off the windowsill, and into the night. 

\------------------------------------------------------------

He watched the stumbling figure in the darkness with worry.  _Maybe his wound hasn’t healed enough yet_ , he told himself, but he knew that he had had to get Kakashi out of there.  Enough time had passed that someone might decide to send a search party to find him, and if they found Kakashi, there would be nothing he could do to save him.  His fate would already be sealed.  Yes, Naruto was the Hokage, but Kakashi was a missing-nin.  The council would decide his punishment, and there would be nothing he could do to change it. 

_At least now he has a chance_ , Naruto told himself, as he curled into a ball on the bed.  He knew now for certain, that he was cursed.  He had seen the remorse and regret in that lone eye as the man he loved had fled into the night.  Kakashi still loved him, but if that was the case, why had he left Konoha in the first place?  It didn’t make sense.

He was tempted to chase after him, for no reason other then to get the answer to the question that had haunted him for far too long.  But in a way, he knew everything he needed to.  The man he loved, still loved him in return, and that, in and of itself, was enough to stave off the loneliness he felt.  If Kakashi died, then he too would die.  Maybe not physically, but in every way that truly mattered, he would wither to nothing.  If he could possibly save his life by letting him go, then he would suffer the agony without pause.

Everything he loved had left with Kakashi, and the very idea of such a loss, was enough to threaten to send him into a downward spiral.  There was nothing that had ever been more important to him then the silver-headed jounin, and he refused to keep him here, for his own selfish ends.  Yes he missed him, and to lose him again, was almost enough to stop his heart in his chest, but to lose him forever would destroy him. 

Even though it was no later then six or seven o’clock in the evening the sky was black, rain falling from the sky in a torrential downpour.  He prayed that Kakashi had found shelter, and fell into an uneasy sleep.

A few hours later, he was shocked out of his turbulent sleep by a loud thump.  He shot up in bed, and without thought, drew a kunai, his eyes flicking about in the darkness.  When he heard his name called from the corner of the room, there was no doubt to whom the voice belonged.  He flicked the lamp switch, and there, shuddering in the corner, was Kakashi.  He was soaked from head to toe, and blood was seeping from a wound above his left eye.

_Oh my god, Kakashi!_  He leapt out of the bed, and ran to the other man.  “What happened?” he asked as his hands worked to remove the blood that slid down Kakashi’s face, checking for other injuries.

“I-I… I don’t… can’t… remember...” he mumbled fuzzily.  

“We… we have to get you out of these clothes,” he replied, as he pulled off the waterlogged scarf, and cut the drenched shirt off his slender body.  He tried to pull Kakashi to his feet gently, so he wouldn’t disturb his side wound, but it was to no avail.   With a rough tug, he finally got the other man to his feet, and dragged him to the bed.  He tore back the covers, and pushed him down onto the bed, and tried to pull off his pants, but without assistance, it was far more difficult then you would imagine.

He looked into Kakashi’s eyes again, and they were absent.  It was as if he had taken a vacation from his own body.  “Kakashi,” he growled trying to bring him back.  “Kakashi, snap out of it.  I need some help here,” he pleaded.

A moment later, he was unceremoniously pulled against a hard pale chest, and they plopped backwards onto the bed.  Fluid fingers moved through his hair, then across his skin knowingly.  He couldn’t help the small wisps of arousal moving through his body, as he took in the feeling of a naked chest against his own, Kakashi’s unique woodsy scent that was unlike any plant he’d ever smelled and tender hands working him with perfect accuracy.  But before lust could get the better of him, he pushed himself off the other ninja, and began trying to pull off his pants again.  This time Kakashi provided him with enough assistance, that he managed to remove the rest of the jounin’s drenched clothing.

He did everything in his power, to avoid looking at Kakashi’s impressive length, although he’d gotten a good enough look to know the man was half-erect.  It was nice to know Kakashi was just as affected as he was; it was comforting in a way.  He turned the jounin’s legs, and covered him with the thin blanket.  He ran to the closet and retrieved a few more blankets, and threw them over him as well.

Once the jounin’s skin began to gather some warmth, he uncovered his side, and pulled back the bandage.  It was bloody, but there wasn’t any new tearing.  All the movement must have caused the wound to bleed anew, but he had no way to tell how much blood he’d lost.  He replaced the bandage, and moved on.  He pulled the blankets back up, and sat down on top of them, leaning in to check out the head injury. 

Kakashi pulled his mask down, and light breath feathered across his cheek.  They made eye contact, and the jounin smiled dazedly.  “My eye…” he said, and Naruto was on his feet.  _How could I have forgotten_ , he chided himself as he grabbed another scarf from the bottom drawer.  The man was already suffering from chakra depletion.  Was he trying to kill the man he loved?  Honestly…

He returned to the bed, and lifted his head gently, tying the wrap in place.  He leaned in again, and Kakashi smiled.  “Thank you,” he heard the other man mumble before too soft lips touched his cheek gently.  He shot backwards, and took in the other man, but his breathing was shallow and even.  _Asleep_ , he thought shakily.  _How could he possibly be asleep already?_

He finally took a look at the abrasion on Kakashi’s forehead, and sighed with relief.  It wasn’t very deep, but head contusions often bled more then warranted.  He bandaged his new injury, and debated for a few seconds before changing out of his now damp pants, and crawling into bed with Kakashi.  _For warmth_ , he told himself, and he knew he was lying. 

He was awakened by movement against his chest, and when he opened his eyes, he found his favorite lazy jounin starring at him, in what appeared to be wonder.  “What?” he said gravelly, his voice clogged from sleep.

“Oh ummm… nothing…” Naruto looked at him doubtfully, and Kakashi’s visible eye lowered.  “It’s just that… I woke up with you holding me… and I don’t know… it made me…”

“What?” he asked with an eyebrow raised.

“It’s something I’ve missed, that’s all.  And I never expected it to happen again...”

Naruto couldn’t help but smile.  “Kakashi,” he whispered into the older man’s ear, “if you had stayed, I never would have let go.”  When Kakashi stiffened he frowned.  Here they were enjoying a wonderful moment, and he’d somehow ruined it.

\------------------------------------------------------------

Kakashi had no idea how to respond to such a statement.  He was trying really hard to put that night out of his mind, and pretend the last sixteen months had never happened, but if Naruto was going to bring it up, he didn’t know how he would be able to do that.

Instead of saying anything, he forced his body to relax, and allowed himself to just enjoy the feeling of strong arms around him, and the thump of Naruto’s heartbeat against his ear.  Before he knew it, the rhythmic beating lulled him to sleep, a genuine smile on his lips for the first time, in far too long.

When he woke, he felt cold, and he knew he was alone.  When he tried to move his left arm, it wouldn’t move, and it was almost enough to break him.  _A dream?  No, it can’t be_ , he thought dejectedly.  But he knew it had to have been a dream.  It had been far too perfect.

He laid there silently for a time, and realized that he really had to use the bathroom.  He tried to envision himself moving into the bathroom, and his body moved of its own accord.  To say he was shocked was an understatement.  He was even more shocked to realize, that he was completely naked.  The joy he felt at having evidence that it had indeed been real, was only surpassed by his need to answer nature’s call.

When he came out of the bathroom, he searched through the drawers until he found a shirt and pants, and pulled them on, even though they barely fit.  He wondered where the blonde had gone, and took a look out the window, to get a better look at the small village where they were staying.  It was rather picturesque, he had to admit, and looked much better bathed in sunlight, then sodden with rain.  Then again, he really hated rain, so maybe it was more of a personal opinion, then fact.

When the door to the room opened, he turned from the window and found disappointed eyes gazing at him.  “Are you…” the blonde began, but he stopped him with a shake of his head.

“No, I’m not leaving.  This is the first time I’ve gotten the chance to really see the village outside my prison,” he said jokingly, “and I just wanted to get a better look.”

“Well then,” Naruto said haughtily, “I guess even prisoners have to eat, so how about some breakfast?”

At the mention of food, he realized he was famished, and shook his head rapidly, then groaned.  _What the hell is wrong with my head_ , he thought as a headache took root.

“I wouldn’t shake your head like that,” the blonde said, “Came back with quite a bump last night.”

He reached a hand up and found a rather large lump, and a bandage.  How he’d managed not to notice either since he’d woken up, was a mystery to be solved at a later time.  He was still starving, and the most beautiful man he’d ever seen was offering him free food, that he didn’t even have to cook.  It just didn’t get much better then that, so he plopped down at the table, “What’s for breakfast?”

\------------------------------------------------------------

Naruto couldn’t believe his luck.  Kakashi had seemingly dropped his walls.  Perhaps he would finally get the answers he was seeking.  “Miso soup, and some snacks. Help yourself,” he said as he moved to the small table, and began pulling items out of the bag.

Kakashi started eating the moment the food was placed on the table, and Naruto had to hold back his laughter.  The man was practically inhaling everything in sight, then again, Kakashi hadn’t eaten since he’d finally woken up, and that had been nearly two days ago.

He watched him go to town, a nearly imperceptible smile on his face, and decided to wait until he’d eaten his fill.  He would take whatever was left over.  The man needed his strength.  Kakashi looked up and smiled, “Aren’t you hungry?”

“No, go ahead and eat,” he said softly.  “You haven’t eaten in almost two days.”   

“But, Naruto…”

“No, really, it’s fine,” he said, trying to lay Kakashi’s conscience to rest.  “I’m not hungry.  I can eat later.”  Kakashi only nodded, and continued to eat, leaving several things on the table, and Naruto felt a pinch in his heart when he realized that Kakashi had left behind all his favorite treats.

When Kakashi finished off the rest of his Miso soup, he looked up, and they made eye contact across the table.  The man cleared his throat, and apprehensively said, “Naruto, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, Kakashi, anything,” he said confidently, wanting to instill comfort in their interactions.  Trust was important now.  He needed Kakashi to trust him, if he had any hope of repairing all the damage that had been done.

“Why did you let me go last night?” he whispered softly.

Naruto sighed, “I can’t take you back to Konoha, Kakashi.  I won’t!  They’ll hang you or something even worse,” he said with pain in his voice, “and I just can’t watch that happen.  I never planned to take you back, not really.  I know I said I would, but when you were sick, I was afraid I was going to lose you and…” 

Kakashi seemed surprised by his words, it was written all over his naked face.  When he was young he had believed Kakashi wore a mask because he was hideously disfigured.  When he’d finally seen his face, he was convinced it was to avoid overly amorous admirers.  But in the months they’d spent together, he’d solved the mystery that plagued Konoha.  Kakashi Hatake had absolutely no poker face to speak of.  Just one look and you knew anything and everything he was feeling.

“…I just knew I could never do that to you,” he finished, “I… I love you too much to watch you suffer.  Not when I can prevent it.”

\------------------------------------------------------------

He thought over the blonde’s words carefully.  “I’m not sure I understand,” he said cautiously.

“What do you mean, Kakashi,” Naruto asked.

“Why would you risk everything you ever wanted for me?  If anybody found out what you’re doing here, the council would see you dead before they let you keep your position,” he said plainly.

Naruto let out a long slow breath, a strange look in his eyes that the copy-nin couldn’t place.  “I don’t care about any of that, Kakashi.  As long as you’re safe, they can do with me as they will.”

_I don’t understand why he’s doing this to me.  Haven’t I suffered enough_ , he asked himself.

“Why, why would you say something like that?” he said angrily.  He didn’t want to be allowed to hope, it just hurt too much.

“What do you mean, ‘why’?  It’s the truth.  I have no reason to lie to you,” the blonde replied.

“Because I don’t want you to give me hope,” he said as he pushed to his feet, “I’ve already had hope, only to have it torn away in the worst possible way,” he growled, his hands slamming down on the table before him, and Naruto took a few steps back.  “I won’t let it happen again!  Why are you doing this to me?”

“Doing what?” Naruto asked with confusion in his eyes.

“This game, this cruel game you’ve been playing with me all along!”

“What game?  What the hell are you talking about, Kakashi?” the blonde asked, a look of horror written on his face, “I have never toyed with you.  Never!  I love you too much…”

“Stop it!  Stop saying that!”

“Saying what?  Kakashi…”

“Stop telling me you love me, god damn it!” he screamed, “I don’t have the strength to listen anymore.  So please… if you care about me at all, even just the smallest bit…” he said as he fell back into the chair, his head falling forward as Naruto moved towards him “…give my heart back,” he finished, his voice so low, he almost couldn’t be heard in the dead silence of the room. 

He heard a wounded sound, and turned his eyes up, to look at the blonde.  A silent tear rolled down his cheek, his body trembling as he held himself.  It was behavior that Kakashi just couldn’t translate.  Why did Naruto seem to ache the way he ached?  It didn’t make any sense.

In just a few strides he found himself caught by the biceps, enraged cerulean eyes meeting his own.  “Give you back your heart?” the blonde said in a low growl, “What about my heart?  You just disappeared and took every part of me with you, but I’m supposed to just let go now that I’ve finally found you again?”

Kakashi pulled his arms from Naruto’s grasp, “Sasuke was back.  There was no reason for me to stay.”

“Sasuke?  What does he have to do with anything?” the blonde asked.

“I knew that your heart truly belonged to him, and that there was no room for me in your life, so I left,” he responded.

“I stopped loving Sasuke a very long time ago, Kakashi.  Every move, every step, every breath, I’ve made over the last six years has been about you.  Just to be closer to you.  Why can’t you understand that?”

“If that’s really true, Naruto, then what about the night I left?”

“What about it?”

“I’m supposed to believe you love me, when you spent that night in his arms… in his bed?”

“You knew?  Is that why you left?” he asked sadly.  Kakashi didn’t answer, he couldn’t.  He merely shook his head.

“Oh, ‘Kashi, I’m sorry it happened.  I still have no idea what I was thinking, but it was a mistake.  One I’ve never made again, not in all the time we’ve been apart.  I know I hurt you, and I can’t take it back, what’s done is done.”  Naruto pulled Kakashi into his arms, “I have no desire to be with Sasuke.  If that’s what I wanted, don’t you think I would have already done it?  That I would be in Konoha right now, instead of here, risking everything I’ve worked my whole life for?”

“Naruto…” he began, but he had no idea what to say.  He’d spent so much time doubting the blonde’s words of endearment, that to truly believe now, left him speechless, a pleasurable pain blooming in his heart.

“No, Kakashi.  No more doubt,” his love said softly.  “I am yours, heart and soul, for this life, and all the ones to come.”  Then almost breathlessly he added, “Please, don’t deny me, not now…”

\------------------------------------------------------------

Naruto laid awake, the man he loved in his arms, and sighed gently.  In just a few hours, they would go their separate ways.  He almost couldn’t bare it, and yet his heart was soaring, because he knew that this time, unlike the last time, so many months ago, they would meet again.  They would find each other once more, in this unassuming village, far from their homeland, a place that had become very much their own.

Kakashi had been asleep for several hours, but he hadn’t been able to find any rest.  But it didn’t bother him; he had been content to just watch the other man sleep peacefully.  Now, however, that had changed, so he pressed a delicate kiss to each pale eyelid, and his lover stirred.  Mismatched eyes greeted him with joy, and he couldn’t help the jump of his pulse.  “Morning beautiful,” he muttered softly.

He was pulled into a long and languid kiss, and as they pulled apart, he growled hungrily.  “Kashi,” he said, as his lips moved over his lover’s ear, “Take me…” he pleaded in a low seductive tone.  “Please…”

The man in his arms shuddered in response, and he smiled.  He was surprised when almost instantly, he was flipped onto his back, and eager hands moved roughly over his skin.  His hand travelled up, and tangled in silver locks, his heart nearly beating its way out of his chest, as he pushed Kakashi’s face to meet his own.  The kiss was aggressive; his lover’s tongue forcing it’s way into his mouth to clash violently with his own.

Kakashi moved swiftly, roughly.  There was an almost desperate intensity to his decisive movements.  He purred with pleasure, as Kakashi’s mouth came down on one of his nipples, and lapped at it.  He couldn’t help but whimper with need, as his lover bit into the now hardened nipple, and knowing hands moved south.  His hands flew back to the jounin’s hair, and he tried to push him down to follow the path his hands were taking with his too talented mouth.  No other man but this man, had ever taken him, and he needed just one more memory to bring forth on those lonely nights. 

Kakashi was playing him like a finely tuned instrument.  He knew all the right places to touch and tease to make him nearly beg for release, and he was never left disappointed.  Every time he was with Kakashi he thought he could never be more sated then when he was finally allowed release, yet each time somehow surpassed the time before.

Kakashi seemed to be on fire as he moved over his body, his mouth doing things that only he could do.  Naruto let him do as he wished, as tingles ignited in his fingertips and toes, and flowed through every inch of his body.  When Kakashi flipped him onto his stomach, and gripped his hips, spreading his cheeks, he closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.

He groaned when he felt Kakashi’s tongue flit over his entrance slowly, delicately, goose bumps rising all across his flesh.  His tongue was warm and moist and nearly drove him mad as it moved in ever smaller circles around his opening.  When he finally felt the tip of Kakashi’s tongue against his entrance, he mewled, his hands twisting into the sheets.  He pressed his hips back, and his lover added a bit more pressure each second until finally, he slipped inside.

He started with subtle flicks, meant to entice his lover into complete and total surrender, as it always had.  Naruto’s breath hitched in his throat, and in that exact moment, as if he had been waiting for a cue of some kind, Kakashi’s tongue began to jab in and out of his sweltering channel.  He could hardly articulate a word now, lost so deep in sensation, he could feel his lover through every part of his body.

He groaned helplessly as Kakashi added a finger to work along with his laving tongue briefly, before pulling his mouth away, leaving his fingers to continue the job it had begun.  He stretched his lover briefly, no real preparation was necessary due to their earlier activities, but he loved to tease his lover into compliance.  He added a second finger, and pushed in deeply, curling them against his prostate.  He pressed mercilessly, and Naruto was helpless in the face of near blinding pleasure as he pushed back against the fingers working inside him with total abandon.  He cared little for how shameless he looked, mumbling and moaning into the bed beneath him.

He was totally under Kakashi’s control, and while this thought should be disconcerting, he relished it.  He savored moments with his love where he didn’t have to put on his mask of naivety, and could simply feel.  He bit into a pillow intent on hanging on as long as he could against the onslaught that was washing over his body, but he knew he was helpless against it.  If Kakashi wanted him to beg, he would, as he always had. 

Every moment he held on, however, was a small victory.  Knowing that arousing him, could work Kakashi into a near frenzy, was all the incentive he needed.  His lover was generous in passion, virtually insatiable, but often times a bit too tender.  He loved his rougher side, and submission to a man as masterful as him, was nothing to be ashamed of, as a matter of fact, the rewards that followed always made it well worth it.

When his lover moved to lay over his body, he could feel his moist swollen length between his thighs, and it only served to tempt him even more.  He was amazed at how deep his desire to feel each and every veined inch within his body ran.  The fingers continued to curl against his prostate on each invasion, as his lovers cock imitated the motion of his hand between his thighs, and his mouth laved his neck, teeth nipping ever so gently.  How could one man, hokage or not, withstand such an assault?

“Please, Kashi,” he implored his lover, “Please…”

Nothing more needed to be said.  Kakashi pulled his fingers free, dipped them into the antibiotic ointment, and spread it over his shaft, his gaze meeting his lovers as he watched through half lidded eyes.  He kneeled behind his love, and slipped inside with a sigh matched by Naruto’s groan of near fulfillment.  They were both so close now, that it wouldn’t take much.

Kakashi gripped his hips roughly, his breath passing his lips in near strangled gasps.  He pulled back and slammed forward, taking Naruto with a force he rarely showed.  Naruto rocked back to meet each thrust, both of them desperate in their pursuit of release.  Their coming together was primal, and he felt consumed by his lover.  He was surrounded by his scent, sweat dripping down onto his skin, and it only made him press back harder.  If he could, he would let their bodies melt together in the heat between them so they never had to be apart again.

He felt his toes curl, and gripped the sheets even tighter, tearing into them.  Kakashi growled in approval when he met him halfway forcefully, and shifted his hips to reach Naruto’s prostate.  Each touch threatened to shatter everything he was, but he had no fear.  This was the only place he’d ever been safe, protected, and if in this moment he was lost, his lover would always seek him.  This was home, this was where he belonged.

His orgasm came upon him with such unannounced force he nearly fainted as he came across the sheets in endless spurts.  He could feel his lovers thick shaft flare in his passage, and then he was being filled, hot seed spraying into his body, and he moaned softly.  Kakashi released his hips and turned them sideways, his hand resting possessively around Naruto’s waist. Nothing could compare to the feeling of this final moment of bliss when he was sore, sated, and enclosed by loving arms.  He immersed himself in the feeling, and allowed the steady beat of Kakashi’s heartbeat to lull him to sleep, knowing his lover would guard his dreams.  

When he awoke, he knew Kakashi was still awake, and greeted him with a tender smile, and a gentle kiss.  They laid together for a brief while, hands moving over skin slowly, lovingly, memorizing each other, but as the first rays of sun passed over the horizon, they pulled apart slowly, sadly, knowing what was coming in mere minutes.  They dressed with lazy movements, neither man in a hurry to bring the previous evening to an end.  Nothing pleasant awaited them after sunrise.  There would be nothing but days of endless loneliness to be endured.

Once their belongings were packed they kissed once more, and Kakashi pulled his mask in place then leapt from the window, while he went downstairs to check out properly.  When he made his way outside, he headed north through the trees, his feet dragging clumsily.  When he came to the clearing he remembered passing on his way to the inn, he called out to his love in his mind.

Mere minutes later, there was a ruffle of leaves, and he appeared.  The sight of his demarcated headband was nearly heartbreaking, but he was as beautiful and fluid as ever.  He leapt from the tree and landed gracefully.  Naruto couldn’t help but smile, despite his sadness, as he watched Kakashi stalk towards him. When he was filled with purpose, Kakashi Hatake didn’t stroll or lounge, he prowled, like a caged animal.  His steps were strong and sure as he made his way across the clearing, and in moments, they were in each others arms again, for what would be the last time. 

He pulled the jounin to him, and they simply held each other for what seemed an eternity, yet it wasn’t nearly long enough for either of them.  He allowed himself to get lost in the essence of Kakashi.  The scent of him, the silk of his skin, the tickle of his hair, the exact color of his eyes, but before he fell too deep, he reigned himself in.  He knew it was time.  It had to be.  There was nothing that could be done.  Here they would separate, and here they would meet, one year from now.  The last few days were all he had to hold onto for 365 more days, but he could live with that, if his lover was safe.

He pulled the smaller man even closer to him, if it was possible to be any closer, and buried his nose in silver locks, as two strong arms hugged him a little tighter.  The man always smelled like a rainforest, no matter what shampoo he used, and he would never get enough.  When they pulled apart slightly, he left several small kisses on Kakashi’s forehead, and frowned.

“What is it?” Kakashi asked softly, and pressed a clothed kiss to the blonde’s cheek.

“I just… A year is so…” he managed to mutter over the lump in his throat.

“I know,” the jounin replied sadly, and lowered his mask.

When he had the opportunity to take in Kakashi’s whole face, his breath deserted him, as it always did, but it was no less of a surprise then it was the first time.  The man was too beautiful to express with words.  His face was the kind of perfection, created by flawless features, marred by loyalty and a life of duty. His face was worthy of an Uchiha, and yet the scar that ran down the left side of his face, a nose broken several times, and overly generous lips, didn’t detract from it.  If nothing else, it made him more attractive.  It not only made him unique, it made him real. 

Lips covered his own in an urgent kiss; one they both knew would be the last for far too long.  Fingers dug into his hips pulling their bodies even closer, and even as his arousal surged, his heart was breaking.  He was losing himself in lips and tongue, and the erection being rubbed against his thigh.  _Have to stop_ , he thought dejectedly.  He wanted this to go on forever, but it couldn’t.  Dawn had almost passed, and they needed to go their separate ways in mere moments.

He pushed the smaller man away from him gently, as he took several deep breaths, his body begging for oxygen.  He looked his love in the eye, and saw the same emptiness, he felt in his own heart.  “Naruto…” he began.

“I know, ‘Kashi.  I know,” he said and caressed his cheek.  Tan fingers trailed down porcelain skin, and pulled up Kakashi’s mask.  He left a reverent kiss on his lover’s forehead, and tried his very best to form a genuine smile.  “I love you, Kakashi,” he said as he finally released the other man.

“I love you too,” he replied.

“One year, Kakashi,” he said as he moved away, “Don’t be late.” 

With that, he disappeared.   

\------------------------------------------------------------

Kakashi watched the spot where his lover had stood as the sun travelled across the sky.  The minutes blurred together, and when he finally came back to himself, he had no idea how much time had passed.  To his mind it seemed but a moment, though his heart had felt each second with painfully vivid awareness. 

Where was he supposed to go now?  What was he supposed to do? 

He couldn’t stay in one place for too long, hunter-nin would still be scouring every crevice to find him.  Naturally, he’d have to head in the opposite direction of Konoha, but where could he go that he wouldn’t be recognized?  Hidden villages were off limits, so were the towns that closely surrounded them.  He was tired of constantly moving around.  He wanted to make a home, but the odds of finding a place where he ran no risk of discovery, was nil to double nil.

_Funny_ , Kakashi thought as he moved into the trees.  Before Naruto, he’d never really thought of his apartment as a home.  It was just a place to pass his off hours between missions.  But now that he’d been gone so long, he really missed his slightly lumpy mattress, his beat up old couch, and the hideously green end tables.  But what really bothered him; he couldn’t even remember the exact color that they’d painted the walls when Naruto moved in anymore.

Maybe, it wasn’t even his apartment that he missed.  He missed his favorite ‘book’ store, and the little shop down the street with the near revolutionary tea.  He missed Gai’s ridiculously mind-numbing challenges, and frighteningly bright smiles.  And though he shuddered at the thought, and would deny it until the day he died, he even missed his bubbly, pink-haired, irritating former student.  He missed Konoha… desperately…

Without much thought, he turned around mid leap and headed for Konoha.  He would plead his case before the council, and maybe, just maybe, they wouldn’t put him to death.  It’s possible he’d get a milder sentence, like jail or torture, and afterwards, he would be allowed to return home, and maybe someday in the future, active duty.  But more so, he’d eventually be able to spend all his free time with his lover.

He didn’t think too much into his decision.  It had been made for him, the moment Naruto had taken him into his arms, and whispered words of eternal love and devotion.  He’d been so swept up in the passion, and the joy of finally having his hearts one desire, that he’d missed it.  He almost felt silly for falling into such a single-minded state when he was around the blonde, but wasn’t that how true love was supposed to be?

\------------------------------------------------------------

As he moved through the trees, the further and further away he got, the more hesitant he became.  He had a feeling he was making the wrong decision.  Sure, he’d fought like hell to be accepted by the council, his peers, and the whole of Konoha, but the importance of being the Hokage had dimmed since he’d reunited with Kakashi.

_This is all my fault_ , he thought.  _If I hadn’t run off with Sasuke that night…_

He shook his head, pushing the thought away.  He had to stop blaming himself.  It wouldn’t do either of them any good.  The whole situation had spun out of control for so many different reasons.  There was so much more to it, it was so much bigger than one man’s misstep.

He briefly considered abandoning his village, but knew in his heart he couldn’t run away with Kakashi.  They’d be hunted for the rest of their lives.  And yet, he wanted to be able to see his love whenever he wished.  A few days a year was, to put it simply, just not… enough.

So there had to be another option.  He had no control over the council’s decisions, but perhaps he could convince them to give Kakashi another chance.  He’d left because he didn’t think he could trust his Hokage, and his decision hadn’t been made without reason.  He’d broken Kakashi’s trust in the worst possible way.

He turned to head back towards the clearing where he’d left Kakashi, intent on talking things over with him before he made a decision, and found to his dismay, Sasuke standing no more than a foot away, his lips turned up in a smug smile.  Before he could speak, Sasuke silenced him with a gesture.  “Our very own Hokage, aiding a missing-nin.  I wonder what the council would say?” he said.

“This is none of your business, Sasuke,” he said roughly.

“Really?” he said calmly.  There was something in his eyes that filled Naruto’s heart with fear, not for himself, but for his lover.  “As a hunter-nin, it’s my duty to report my discovery to the council.  What would you have me do?”

“Is that supposed to be some kind of threat?” he spat bitterly.  “If you put him at risk in any way, you have to know that I…”

“You’ll what?” he said cheekily.  “Kill me?  First you let a criminal escape, when you could have brought him to justice, and now you’re threatening to dispatch one of your very own ANBU…  Hn, remarkable.  I had no idea you would be such a lousy Hokage.”

“How dare you!” he growled fiercely.  “You have no right to question me, or my decisions!  I am your superior, and if I choose to present his case to the council, it’s no concern of yours.”

“I see.  So you plan to change their minds?”

“Yes,” he said confidently.  He had no doubt he’d be able to persuade them.

“I highly doubt they will accept the recommendation of a man being led by the nose.”

“I am not being played for a fool, Sasuke.  I am the reason he left, and I will be the reason he returns.  A real man rights his wrongs, but what would you know about that?” he said angrily.

“I highly doubt any words said in the favor of your decrepit lover will sway anyone, but if you wish to make a fool of yourself, be my guest.”

The blonde’s hands involuntarily clenched at the insult.  Calling Kakashi feeble, was like saying fish don’t swim.  His body was the very definition of perfection, built from nothing but lean limbs and sleek muscle.  He shook his head, he wouldn’t rise to the bait.  He’d matured too much for that, but such a slight wouldn’t be forgotten.

“Sasuke, I don’t have time for this.  I’ll deal with you when I get back to Konoha,” he said dismissively, though it didn’t seem to have the desired effect, because Sasuke visibly bristled at his words.

“Is one man really worth all that trouble?” he asked, and Naruto smiled.  His mind had immediately screamed, ‘yes’.  “I mean sure,” he continued, “his face is stunning, but there’s not much there worth a damn, that I could see.”  Naruto could hardly believe his ears, just how long had Sasuke been watching them?

_Too long_ , he thought.  That much was readily apparent.  If a hunter-nin, especially one with the Sharingan, knew what his face looked like, there was no hope of Kakashi ever being able to hide if he wasn’t able to convince the council to take him off the missing-nin list.  Sasuke had finally gone too far.

“This isn’t a game, Sasuke,” he yelled desperately.  “This is a man’s life we’re talking about here.  Don’t you care?  He was our sensei, our friend.”

“I don’t call anyone who takes what’s mine ‘friend’,” he replied angrily, his voice escalating with every word.

_Not that again_ , he thought as he growled with frustration.  “Sasuke, you have to let me go.  I don’t love you anymore.”

“Never!  I will do whatever it takes.”

“There’s nothing you can do.  I will never love anyone else,” he whispered, “Just… please don’t punish him for that.  It’s not his fault.”

“This is all his fault.  He’s the reason you don’t love me anymore.  He stole you away from me, and I will never forgive him for that!” he hollered, “I’ll do whatever it takes to make him suffer.”

“Sasuke,” he said evenly, “you need to calm down.  You’re not thinking straight.  Think about what you’re saying.”

“Don’t patronize me, Naruto.  I know exactly what I’m saying,” he snarled menacingly.  “He isn’t worthy to lick the dirt from your sandals, and to think that you would choose him over me, makes me sick.”  He took a step closer and, emphasizing each word, said, “You. Belong. To. ME!” 

_He’s completely lost it.  This isn’t good_ , he thought as he watched Sasuke’s chest rise and fall rapidly, his eyes darting back and forth frantically.

“I didn’t intentionally choose him over you, Sasuke.  It wasn’t anything like that.  It just sort of happened.  You can’t help who you fall in love with.  I’m sorry.  I never meant to hurt you,” he replied softly.

“Sorry?  You’re sorry?” he muttered as he began to giggle in a very Orochimaru like fashion, “You play games with me for months, and now you’re sorry?”

“I never played games with you, Sasuke,” he sighed.  _There’s nothing I can do to help him now.  He’s too far gone…_   “I have to go.”  With that, he turned on his heel, and began moving toward the clearing where he’d left Kakashi with speed only a shinobi could possess.

He was so lost in thought that he didn’t feel the attack coming until it was too late to dodge.  He was plowed into from behind and slammed face first into the dirt.  He waited for the pain, he waited for a second strike, but it never came.

He rolled over quickly, and what he saw stole the breath from his lungs.  Threatened to tear every ounce of strength from his body…

His lover stood just a few feet away, a bloody hand protruding from his back.  He ran to Kakashi, catching him, the world moving in slow motion, as Sasuke pulled his bloody hand back. 

Kakashi slumped in his arms, and he lowered him down to the ground, resting him on his lap.  He looked down at his chest, the mark was unmistakable, Chidori… He had a fist sized hole just below his sternum, his shirt and vest torn apart, and the pale flesh surrounding the wound was charred.

He took his lover’s hand in his own, as mismatched eyes looked at him almost pleadingly, blood already soaking his pants.  “Kakashi, why?” he asked helplessly, as he pulled his loves mask down.

A pale hand reached out and caressed his cheek, and he smiled weakly.  Kakashi opened his lips to speak, and he shushed him with a finger across his lips.  “Don’t,” he said, pressing a gentle kiss to Kakashi’s forehead, then the back of the hand he held in his own.

_What am I going to do_ , he asked himself.  They were too far from Konoha for that to be a viable option.  He felt lost and powerless in a way he had never known before.  The man he loved was dieing in his arms, and there seemed to be no hope.  He knew basic healing techniques, but nothing that could mend a wound this severe.  All he’d be able to do, was extend Kakashi’s final moments, and prolong his pain, which he couldn’t bear.

Terror rooted itself in his heart.  This wasn’t how it was supposed to end.  They were supposed to have a lifetime to make love, and be loved, and just simply be… together.  But it seemed he would never be allowed such happiness.  Their time left together, was short, even now, his lover was fading.

“I love you, so much, you…” _foolish, foolish man_. He used his free hand to pull off Kakashi’s hitai-ate, and brushed silver locks out of his face.  He couldn’t lose him now, it would be too hard to go on alone, but he knew he didn’t have a choice. 

He looked into Kakashi’s eyes, and strangely, they seemed at peace.  _Don’t you dare give up_ , he thought.  “Please, don’t… Not yet,” he said as he held his lover’s hand much too tightly.  He couldn’t help but smile sadly, when Kakashi’s hand clenched his own, in a gesture he knew was meant to comfort.  Kakashi’s life was draining away, and still he put his lover first.  The depth of his lovers love for him seemingly knew no bounds.  Even in these last few moments, such kindness merely strengthened Naruto’s own love, though he had thought such a feat impossible.

He could feel the warmth leaving his lover’s skin as delicate fingers caressed his face.  He watched with horror as already fair skin paled, his love fighting for every breath, and his heart broke.  “Oh ‘Kashi, what were you thinking?” he whispered, tears leaving streaks down his dirt ridden face.

“What… world… is… worth… living… in… without… you… in… it?” Kakashi asked, struggling for every word, his hand falling from Naruto’s face.

“I…” but he didn’t get the chance to finish.  He starred down into lifeless eyes, and a howl of pure agony ripped itself from his very core, and echoed through the forest.  He left a fleeting kiss on blue-tinged lips, and laid the man that was his heart, down gently on the ground. 

“UCHIHA!” he thundered, as he finally released the darkness within, chakra flaring to life around him.  He took in his surroundings, using chakra to enhance his vision, but Sasuke was already long gone.   

Though his heart was heavy with the burden of loss, he couldn’t simply leave his lovers body to be plagued by the elements.  He did all that he could with what he had at his disposal, though it wasn’t much.  He marked his grave with a large white weather-beaten stone, and cast a jutsu that would protect his grave, and make wildflowers grow around it.

He didn’t bother to return to Konoha.  There was nothing left for him there.  The man that had belonged in that village was already dead, the flicker of life that had once burned so brightly nothing more than ashes.

He left behind his tattered Hokage’s robes, jounin vest, and his leaf headband, Kakashi’s demarcated one taking its place on his forehead.

From that day on, he devoted every waking moment to the capture of one, Uchiha Sasuke… 

The man who’d condemned his soul to darkness…


End file.
